and wanted to find something to wipe his ass.
He looked around, found a white bunny and asked, "Hey, you have any problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
Bunny replied, "No, unless I didn't wash it off."
The bear then took the bunny and wiped his arse with the bunny.
Next day, the bear is preparing for his hibernation and ate a lot of berries that ended up smearing his face with berry juice so he wanted to find something to wipe his mouth.
He looked around, found a brown chinchilla and asked, "Hey, you have any problem with juice clumping up your fur?"
Chinchilla replied, "No, unless I didn't wash it off."
The bear then took the chinchilla and wiped his mouth with the chinchilla but began retching, "Good gods! You smell like shit!"
The chinchilla said, "I'm the bunny that you wiped your arse with me yesterday and I forgot to wash."
The next day, in order to regain back all the stuff he puked out, the bear ate a lot of nuts and got a piece stuck in his teeth so he wanted to find something to pick his teeth.
He looked around, found a black porcupine and asked, "Hey, you have any problem with me using one of your quills?"
Porcupine replied, "What quill?"
The bear then plucked a quill off and picked his teeth but began retching, "Good gods! You taste like shit!"
The porcupine said, "Well, fuck, I forgot to wash again."
Joke Poo
A meticulous mole was creating a new tunnel system… and desperately needed a light.
He bumped into a glowworm and asked, “Excuse me, friend, do you mind if I borrow some of your glow for a little while? Does it bother you to be less bright?”
The glowworm replied, “Not at all! It recharges quickly, and frankly, it’s nice to have a little break from all the shining.”
The mole gratefully took a chunk of the glowworm’s light and set to work, illuminating his tunnel.
Later, the mole needed to check his map but his eyes got blurry, so he asked the glow worm, “Excuse me, friend, can I use the rest of your glow?”
The glowworm replied, “Not at all! It recharges quickly, and frankly, it’s nice to have a little break from all the shining.”
The mole gratefully took the glowworm’s rest of glow and set to work, illuminating his map.
The next day, the mole was showing off his new tunnel to a curious beetle, who immediately recoiled. “Good heavens! This place is so dark!”
The mole sputtered, “Dark? But I’m using the light from that glowworm!”
The beetle replied, “Well, duh, I work in sewage and that glowworm is my flashlight and I haven’t charged it in 2 days so its already dying!”
Okay, let’s break down this…unusual joke.
Key Elements:
- Crude Humor: The joke relies heavily on toilet humor, specifically defecation and hygiene.
- Animal Interaction: It features a bear interacting with various smaller animals.
- Irony & Comeuppance: The bear’s initial utilitarian use of the animals backfires spectacularly due to their lack of hygiene.
- Escalation: The joke repeats a formula, escalating the grossness and the bear’s disgust.
- Rule of Three (sort of): The joke presents the same scenario three times.
Interesting Tidbits & Potential Fodder for New Humor:
- Bears and Hygiene: Bears do groom themselves. They scratch, rub against trees, and even take dust baths to remove parasites and dirt. The idea of a bear being concerned about hygiene (even temporarily) is already funny. Also, bears use plant matter for wiping.
- Rabbit Behavior: Rabbits are fastidious groomers. The joke’s premise of a dirty rabbit that doesn’t wash is inherently absurd and a betrayal of bunny stereotypes. Rabbits can catch a sickness called Flystrike.
- Chinchilla Dust Baths: Chinchillas are known for their unique dust baths to keep their fur clean. The idea of a chinchilla forgetting to dust is like someone forgetting to breathe.
- Porcupine Quills: Porcupine quills are barbed and painful to remove. The punchline hinges on the bear not noticing the taste before yanking out a quill. Furthermore, the bear is only asking to use one quill. Does the porcupine have a favourite quill?
New Humorous Takes:
1. Observational Humor:
You know, the joke about the bear wiping with the rabbit and chinchilla is absurd because it highlights the weird disparity in hygiene expectations. We expect rabbits to be pristine, chinchillas to be perpetually dusty-fresh, and bears… well, we basically give bears a free pass on the “looking like you haven’t showered in a week” thing. If I was a bear, I’d take advantage of that.
2. Absurdist “Did You Know?”:
Did you know that the leading cause of interspecies conflict in woodland areas is no longer territorial disputes but rather disagreements over proper wiping etiquette? A recent study showed that 87% of squirrels reported feeling “uncomfortable” after witnessing a bear using a live animal for personal hygiene.
3. Meta-Joke:
I started telling a joke about a bear and a rabbit, but then I realized it was going to involve…well, you know. So I stopped. I think the world has enough “bear wiping” jokes. Instead, let’s appreciate the majestic beauty of the forest…and maybe carry some hand sanitizer, just in case.
4. (Darker) Alternate Ending:
…The bear then plucked a quill off and picked his teeth but began retching, “Good gods! You taste like shit!” The porcupine, eyes widening in panic, squeaked, “Oh, I forgot to tell you…I’ve been eating shit lately.”
The main idea is to play on the inherent absurdity and the violation of expectations within the original joke. We can either heighten the absurdity, acknowledge its flaws, or comment on the characters in the joke.