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Fake Poo

A blonde woman was driving along the highway!

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

A blonde woman was driving along the highway, about two hours outside San Diego, when she saw a man waving her down. His truck was parked on the shoulder, clearly broken down.

As she rolled down her window, the man approached and asked, “Are you headed to San Diego?”

“Sure am,” she replied.

“Great! I don’t need a ride for myself—I’ll be stuck here fixing my truck for hours. But I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back, and they need to get to the San Diego Zoo. They’re already stressed, and I don’t want to keep them waiting. Could you take them for me? I’ll pay you $200 for the trouble.”

The blonde thought for a moment and said, “Sure, I’d be happy to help.”

The man carefully loaded the chimpanzees into the back seat of her car, strapped them in with seat belts, and handed her the cash. Off she went, heading toward the zoo.

About five hours later, the man’s truck was finally fixed, and he was driving through downtown San Diego when he spotted a scene that made his jaw drop.

There was the blonde, walking down the street hand-in-hand with the two chimps. A huge crowd had gathered, laughing and snapping photos.

He slammed on the brakes, jumped out of his truck, and ran over to her. “What are you doing?” he yelled. “I gave you $200 to take those chimpanzees to the zoo!”

“I did!” she said, smiling. “But we had money left over, so now we’re going to Sea World!”

Joke Poo: The Accountant and the Alpacas

An meticulous accountant was auditing a remote farm in the Andes mountains. It was his first time leaving the big city! As he meticulously checked the ledger, he saw the farmer waving frantically from his dusty pickup truck.

As the accountant rolled down the window of his rental car, the farmer approached, wiping sweat from his brow. “Are you headed back to Lima tonight?” he asked, his voice rough.

“Indeed I am,” the accountant replied, adjusting his glasses.

“Great! I don’t need a ride for myself. I’m stuck here dealing with a broken irrigation pump. But I’ve got two prize-winning alpacas in the back, and they need to get to the National Alpaca Competition in Lima. They’re a bit delicate, and I don’t want to keep them waiting. Could you take them for me? I’ll pay you 500 soles for the trouble.”

The accountant, slightly unnerved but seeing an opportunity to practice his problem-solving skills, thought for a moment and said, “Sure, I suppose I could.”

The farmer carefully loaded the alpacas into the back seat of the rental car, securing them with what looked like repurposed seatbelts, and handed him the cash. Off the accountant went, heading towards the capital.

About four hours later, the farmer finally managed to fix the irrigation pump and made his way to Lima. He was walking near the competition venue when he spotted a scene that made his eyes widen.

There was the accountant, arguing fiercely with two alpacas outside a fancy boutique. The alpacas were draped in gaudy sequined shawls and had tiny sunglasses perched on their noses.

He rushed over, “What in the world are you doing?” he exclaimed. “I gave you 500 soles to take those alpacas to the competition!”

“I did!” the accountant snapped, adjusting his glasses. “But I found a loophole in the competition rules! The prize money is more than the cost of these accessories. By transforming them into avant-garde alpacas, I’ve maximized our potential profit!”

Okay, let’s break down this joke and then build something amusing from its components.

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Elements:
    • Blonde Stereotype: Relies on the stereotype of blondes as being ditzy or unintelligent.
    • Unexpected Twist: The humor comes from the driver actually taking the chimps to the zoo, but then using the leftover money for an additional, equally unusual outing (Sea World).
    • Juxtaposition: The contrast between the man’s expectation (a simple delivery to the zoo) and the reality (a sightseeing adventure) is key.
    • San Diego Setting: The specific location adds a touch of realism and allows for the Seaworld punchline.
  • Mechanism: The joke sets up a predictable scenario (blonde behaving in an expected way based on stereotype), then subverts that expectation with a more whimsical and unexpected outcome.

Humorous Enrichment:

Observation (Playing on the Primate-Human Connection):

Did you know chimpanzees share about 98% of their DNA with humans? Which explains why those two chimps probably gave that blonde 5-star Uber rating. They said the car was clean, and she didn’t even blast the wrong music. It was a much better ride than being crammed in the back of a truck with a dude who smells like WD-40.

Joke (Subverting the Blonde Stereotype):

A statistician, a brunette, and a blonde are stranded on a desert island with only one banana. The statistician proposes a complex algorithm to determine fair distribution. The brunette argues for immediate division based on needs. The blonde simply takes the banana, peels it, and hands half to each of the chimps she befriended while shipwrecked, saying, “They look hungry, and I’m pretty sure they know where the coconuts are hidden.”

Amusing “Did You Know? (Relating to Chimpanzees and San Diego):

Did you know that the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance actively participates in chimpanzee conservation efforts in Africa, specifically in Uganda’s Kibale National Park? So, technically, the blonde woman in that joke wasn’t just taking those chimps to a tourist attraction; she was facilitating a potential research trip! She was a modern day Jane Goodall, except, y’know, with less funding and more questionable decision-making regarding leftover money. Also, Seaworld.

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