The boy himself was very greedy in life and felt insulted that he was allowed only one wish. "That's it?" He retorted, "All the stories I've heard about you guys usually involve three or more wishes!"
"Well, unfortunate for you, I'm not like most genies and my limit is at one wish per person," the genie responded.
"Oh yeah, well I'm not buying that!" The boy said with a mischievous grin. "I wish that you could give me another wish!"
The genie pondered for a moment, playing with his mustache, before responding, "You know what? That I can do." Then, he suddenly went away in a puff of purple smoke.
The boy waited for hours, but the genie had yet to show up again. Hours turned into days, days turned to months, and months turned to years. The boy, now a man, reviled the genie for going back on his word and tricking him into thinking that his wish could be fulfilled. He became cynical in life, alienating friends and family and even jobs over his attitude. He soon turned to a life of crime that involved theft, assault, and even murder. He was eventually arrested and was sentenced to death row.
Ever the cynic, he cursed those that had wronged him and life in general. A few days before his sentence was to be carried out, a man with a familiar looking mustache in a suit walked into his jail cell with a clipboard.
"You're the genie from my childhood!"
"You have a good memory, I see," the genie said calmly.
"You just left me without giving me my wish, you bastard!" The man seethed at the genie.
"That's not true, you wished for another wish and here I am to grant it for you. We never agreed on the time or place."
The man threw up his hands in frustration. "Fine, then get me the hell out of here!"
"I'm afraid I cannot," the genie explained. "As I said, we never agreed on the details of the second wish and my powers are limited in even granting a second wish at that. Unfortunately, your options are limited."
"Then…what can I wish for?"
The genie raised his clipboard and hovered a pencil above, "What do wish to eat for your last meal, chicken or fish?"
Joke Poo: The Cosmic IRS
A struggling astrophysicist, Dr. Aris Thorne, finally stumbled upon a hidden frequency emanating from deep space. After weeks of decoding, the signal resolved into a single, booming voice: “Greetings, Earthling! I am Zorgon, cosmic auditor of the Galactic Revenue Service! You have been selected for a standard compliance check.”
Aris, terrified but also brimming with scientific curiosity, responded, “Uh, greetings Zorgon! What… what do you need?”
Zorgon’s voice thundered, “We’ve noticed a significant discrepancy in your reported wormhole deductions. You claimed to have discovered and utilized 17 new wormholes this fiscal cycle. Please provide detailed documentation, including entry and exit points, energy expenditure reports, and notarized signatures from at least three interdimensional beings confirming your transit.”
Aris stammered, “But… but I only theorized about them! I haven’t actually used any wormholes! It’s just theoretical physics!”
Zorgon was silent for a moment, then replied with a weary sigh, “Look, Dr. Thorne, I don’t have time for this. I’ve got a planet full of Klingons trying to write off disruptor rifles as ‘office supplies.’ I’m going to need you to either provide the documentation, pay the galactic late fee for falsified deductions, or…” Zorgon paused, his voice taking on a chillingly polite tone, “…or we can arrange a full planetary audit. Believe me, you really don’t want that.”
Aris, sweating profusely, pleaded, “But what can I do? I’m just a humble scientist!”
Zorgon sighed again, “Tell you what. Because you’re a first-time offender, I’m going to offer you a one-time amnesty. All you have to do is complete a supplemental form. Just answer this one question accurately, and we’ll consider the matter closed.”
Aris breathed a sigh of relief. “Anything! Ask away!”
Zorgon’s voice boomed, “What do you wish to file your taxes as: single, married filing jointly, head of household, or… quantumly entangled with a parallel universe where you successfully claimed the wormhole deductions?”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then cook up something new based on it.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Concept: A twist on the classic “genie in a lamp” trope. Instead of instant gratification and wish fulfillment, the genie adheres too literally to the boy’s (badly worded) wish, resulting in a dark, ironic, and delayed delivery.
- Key Elements:
- Greed/Shortsightedness: The boy’s desire for more wishes blinds him to the immediate opportunity.
- Literal Interpretation: The genie exploits the ambiguity in the wish (“I wish you could give me another wish!”).
- Delayed Gratification/Irony: The payoff is dramatically delayed and leads to a far worse outcome than expected.
- Dark Humor: The humor derives from the man’s ruined life and impending execution.
- Rules lawyering The genie uses loopholes to make the wish come true in a way that harms the wisher.
New Humor Creation:
Let’s focus on the “literal interpretation” aspect, combined with the idea of delayed gratification. I’ll create a “Did you know?” style humorous observation.
Humorous Observation:
“Did you know that genies, despite their seemingly magical abilities, are actually the world’s most dedicated project managers? They take very seriously the initial scope of your wish, meticulously document every deliverable, and, thanks to the unique nature of wish fulfillment contracts, have an uncanny knack for exceeding deadlines…by decades. It’s a great way to turn a simple wish into a lifelong ‘agile’ sprint, but remember, if the final “sprint review” is held while you’re strapped to a gurney awaiting lethal injection, you might have missed a crucial requirement in the initial planning phase.”
Explanation:
- Plays on the Original: This builds directly on the joke’s central premise: the genie’s pedantic, rule-following nature and the disastrous consequences of a poorly worded wish.
- Satire of Corporate Jargon: It satirizes the language of project management (scope, deliverables, agile, sprint review) and applies it absurdly to the genie scenario.
- Irony: The joke lies in the contrast between the magical wish-granting fantasy and the mundane, bureaucratic reality of project management.
- Dark Humor: It retains a thread of the original joke’s darkness by referencing the death row scenario, reminding us of the potential for wishes to go horribly wrong.