"Señor, it breaks my heart to have to tell you this, but your wife is right now engaged in making passionate love with your best friend."
"What?! They're doing what?! Listen, I want you to do this right now, and I don't want you to hesitate. I want you to go to my bedroom closet and I want you to find my gun. And I want you to kill both of them!!"
"Señor!! I cannot do that!!"
"You want me to call immigration? Do it!!"
She puts down the phone, and he hears two shots fired. She picks up the phone and says, "Señor, I have done as you asked."
"That's fine. What did you do with the gun?"
"Señor, I have thrown the gun into the pool."
"The pool? Is this 323…9…7…2…8?"
Joke Poo: The Astral Projection Mix-Up
A renowned astrophysicist calls up the university’s parapsychology department and asks if he can speak to his astral body.
“Professor, it pains me to say this, but your astral projection is currently engaged in a deep, soul-bonding experience with the university’s prize-winning psychic, Brenda.”
“WHAT?! They’re doing what?! Listen, I want you to do this immediately, no hesitation. I want you to find the Quantum Entanglement Disrupter in lab seven and sever the connection! NOW!”
“Professor! I can’t just use the QED like that! It’s highly unstable and could create a paradox!”
“You want me to report your department for misuse of grant funding? DO IT!”
She hangs up, and he hears a loud humming followed by a high-pitched squeal. She picks up the phone and says, “Professor, I have done as you asked.”
“Good. Did it work? Is my astral body back in place?”
“Yes, Professor. It seems to be… a little… scrambled though.”
“Scrambled? What do you mean scrambled? Is this the Parapsychology Department, extension 5…5…5…1…2…1…2?”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke!
Key Elements:
- Mistaken Identity/Wrong Number: The core comedic element. The businessman realizes he has dialed the wrong number, after instructing a stranger to commit murder.
- Pre-existing Tension/Mistrust: The joke hinges on the businessman immediately assuming his wife is cheating with his best friend. This is a standard comedic trope.
- Violence: While potentially problematic for some, the hyperbole of ordering a double murder contributes to the shock value and absurdity.
- Power Dynamic/Exploitation: The businessman uses the threat of calling immigration services to coerce the housekeeper into committing the act.
- The Housekeeper’s Compliance (and Resourcefulness): She follows the extreme instruction (murder) but creatively deals with the disposal of evidence. This unexpected action increases the humour of the situation.
The Core Joke Structure:
- Setup: A seemingly normal phone call setting the stage for a domestic drama.
- Escalation: The situation rapidly spirals into an extreme, violent command.
- Fulfilment: The ordered act is surprisingly executed.
- Twist: The final line reveals the entire scenario is a misunderstanding.
Now, let’s create some comedic enrichment!
Option 1: A New Joke Based on Escalation and Wrong Number:
A man calls his bank, furious about a late fee. “This is outrageous! I deposited that check on time! I want to speak to your manager!”
The phone rings, and a frantic voice answers, “911, what’s your emergency?”
The man, still fuming, yells, “My EMERGENCY is that your fee is highway robbery! I want to talk to someone RIGHT NOW or I’m going to close my account!”
The operator shouts back, “Sir, please calm down! We have a multiple homicide in progress. If closing your account is a matter of life or death I can transfer you now.”
The man replies, “Close it, I’ll go to the bank tomorrow, where is your branch?”
Operator: “3…1…4…1…5…9…”
Man: “Pi? Is this the math department?”
Option 2: A Witty Observation:
“You know, the wrong number joke is funny, but think about it… In the age of caller ID, how often DO we even ask for a number at the end of a call anymore? The joke is becoming a cultural artifact, soon to be replaced by the ‘Who IS this?’ gag.”
Option 3: An Amusing “Did You Know?”
“Did you know the phrase ‘getting a number’ to mean obtaining someone’s phone number is a surprisingly recent development? It really took off in the 1970s and 80s as personal phones became more common. Before that, you were ‘getting an address’ or perhaps ‘leaving a message.’ This puts the whole ‘wrong number’ joke in a historical context. Now the more modern phrase would be “getting their social(s)” or “handle.”
Explanation of Comedic Choices:
- The new joke uses the same structure of escalating anger and a sudden reveal of a wrong number, but in a more relatable (and less violent) context. The humour comes from the contrast between the seriousness of the 911 call and the man’s trivial complaint.
- The witty observation uses the original joke as a springboard to comment on the changing landscape of communication and how humor evolves with technology. This adds a layer of meta-commentary.
- The “Did You Know?” connects the joke to a historical fact about phone usage, providing a more intellectual form of enrichment and context. It makes the listener think about the joke in a new light.