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A couple of month ago I’m reading the newspaper

Posted on August 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

A couple of month ago I'm reading the newspaper and I come I across an article about a priest in my hometown who just got arrested for molesting an altar boy at the exact same church when I was an altar boy growing up. That was horrifying to read. That could've been me! If I'd become a priest.

Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the original, aiming for a similar structure and surprise:

Joke Poo: The Recycling Plant

A few weeks back, I was touring the new municipal recycling plant and saw a story about a supervisor who’d just been fired for routinely throwing perfectly recyclable aluminum cans into the general waste stream. It was infuriating! That could have been me! If I’d ever developed any shred of ethical integrity.

Okay, let’s break down this dark, yet potentially darkly funny joke:

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: The setup involves the speaker reading a news article about a priest being arrested for molesting an altar boy in the speaker’s hometown, at the same church they were an altar boy.
  • Punchline: The punchline is “That could’ve been me! If I’d become a priest.” This is a play on words and expectation. We anticipate the “that could’ve been me” to refer to being the victim, but it is in reality refering to being the molester if the speaker were a priest.
  • Humor Source: The humor is derived from the unexpected twist and the dark juxtaposition of vulnerability and perpetrator role. It relies on the audience assuming the speaker’s concern is about being molested, only to subvert that expectation with a chilling, albeit absurd, alternative.

Key Elements for Enrichment:

  1. The Church/Priesthood: The institution of the church and the role of the priest.
  2. Altar Boy: The role of the altar boy, often associated with innocence.
  3. The “That Could’ve Been Me” Trope: The common expression of empathy/identification with a victim or someone who narrowly avoided a negative experience.
  4. Dark Humor/Irony: The overall tone and reliance on morbid or taboo subjects.

Comedic Enrichment Ideas:

Here are a few ways to add to the humor, using the identified elements:

1. The ‘Dark Did You Know’

  • New Humor Element: Relating the molestation of altar boys to actual history with the church.
  • Example: “Did you know that statistically, if you were an altar boy in the Catholic Church in the 1970s, you had a higher chance of being molested than being struck by lightning… Twice! Which makes you wonder, maybe I should’ve become a priest. Think of the odds!”

2. Playing on the “That Could’ve Been Me” Trope

  • New Humor Element: Exaggerating the applications of the “that could’ve been me” phrase.
  • Example: “I saw a documentary about a guy who survived a plane crash in the Andes by eating other passengers. That could’ve been me! If I’d been on that plane, and had absolutely zero moral compass.”

3. The Hypothetical Interview

  • New Humor Element: Imagining the speaker in a very different scenario using the same self-aware humor
  • Example: (Imagine the speaker being interviewed on career day at the school) “So, Mr. Smith, what is it that drove you to becoming a priest?” “Well, you know, I was an altar boy, and then I read an article about… let’s just say I saw an opportunity for advancement. A chance to really make a difference… a lasting difference.”

Important Considerations:

  • Sensitivity: Dark humor is subjective. The effectiveness depends heavily on the audience and context. Be prepared that the joke might not land well with everyone.
  • The Line: Dark humor often walks a fine line between funny and offensive. Ensure the humor is clever and unexpected, not simply cruel or dismissive of the victims of abuse.

By building on the original joke’s elements and adding unexpected twists, we can create additional layers of dark, self-aware humor.

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