came across an old man eating honey in the town square. The man had a big pot of honey in front of him and was spooning it into his mouth. The courier found it strange but continued about his day.
The next day the courier came to the town square again about his duties, and again he saw the old man eating honey. Flies landed on him and bees lapped at his sweat, but he continued to eat, seemingly unperturbed.
On the third day the courier became overwhelmed by curiosity and went to the town square of his own accord. He saw the man eating honey, and indeed he smelled as sweet as if the honey was coming from his very pores.
“Excuse me, sir, but I notice you’ve been sitting here eating nothing but honey for days on end.”
“Indeed I have, and in three days time I shall lower myself into a cask of honey and be drowned in it,” the man answered pleasantly.
The young man was horrified by this reply. “Why would you do such a thing?”
“Well, after all is done, my flesh will be mellified, preserved in the honey, and both will have powerful medicinal qualities, which will heal the wounds of my countrymen.”
The young man could not comprehend this sacrifice, and again cried out, “But why? What’s in it for you?”
The old man smiled at him and shrugged. “Well, when you’re my age, it’s just nice to be meaded.”
Joke Poo: The Data Scientist’s Demise
A data scientist at Google HQ came across an elderly programmer sitting by a massive server rack, meticulously hand-optimizing assembly code. The programmer had a huge printout of disassembled machine language and was painstakingly tweaking bits and bytes. The data scientist found it quaint but continued to work on their AI model.
The next day, the data scientist saw the elderly programmer again, still hunched over the server rack, surrounded by coffee cups and empty energy drink cans. His fingers flew across the keyboard, making tiny adjustments. He looked utterly oblivious to the world.
On the third day, the data scientist’s curiosity finally got the better of him. He went to the server room specifically to see the programmer. The man was still there, working with feverish intensity. The air around him crackled with the faint hum of the servers.
“Excuse me, sir, but I’ve noticed you’ve been sitting here hand-coding for days on end.”
“Indeed I have, and in three days’ time I shall upload myself to the cloud and become one with the algorithm,” the programmer replied cheerfully.
The data scientist was stunned. “Why would you do such a thing?”
“Well, after all is done, my consciousness will be emulated, my knowledge preserved in the network, and my code will become the very foundation of future AI, benefiting all mankind.”
The data scientist was deeply impressed by this grand vision and self-sacrifice, and again cried out, “But why? What’s in it for you?”
The old programmer winked and said, “Well, when you’re my age, it’s just nice to be cache-d!“
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then see if we can wring some more humor out of it.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: The joke builds a curious scenario: an old man obsessively consuming honey in public for days. The courier’s observation escalates the intrigue, culminating in the revelation of the man’s bizarre plan for mellification (a historical, albeit debated, practice).
- Punchline: The punchline relies on a pun. “Meaded” is a play on “needed” and the alcoholic beverage mead (which is made from honey). The humor is derived from the unexpected and absurd selflessness (or perhaps, self-aggrandizement) of the old man, immediately contrasted with the old man’s need to be ‘meaded’ in old age.
Key Elements:
- Honey: Central to the plot and the punchline.
- Mellification: The historical practice (or legend) of preserving a body in honey.
- Alexander the Great: Establishes the period, which gives the story a timeless feel.
- Self-Sacrifice (alleged): The supposed motivation behind the man’s actions.
- Puns: Critical for delivering the humor.
- Ancient traditions: Adds to the story.
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:
Let’s focus on the absurdity of mellification and the properties of honey and then create a “Did you know?” style gag.
New Humor:
Did you know? While the Courier of Alexander the Great was perplexed at an old man’s dedication to becoming “meaded,” modern scientists are researching honey for its remarkable preservation qualities. Turns out, honey’s high sugar content and low water activity create an inhospitable environment for bacteria, which is why it’s also the only food that never spoils. So, while we might not be mellifying anytime soon, if we were to elect a Queen Bee of the afterlife, it’d probably involve a lot of honey, and a surprisingly long ‘sell-by’ date.