Skip to content
Joke Poo
Menu
  • Home
    • The Enduring Power of a Good Joke
  • Categories
    • Totally Feckin random
    • Why Did
    • Long
    • Wife
    • Walks into a bar
    • Dog
    • Bartender
    • Husband
    • Doctor
    • Chicken
  • Privacy Policy
Menu
Joke Poo

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday. “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.”

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his back pocket, the officer pulled out his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this fucking badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish… on ANY land! No questions asked or answers given! Do I make myself clear? Do you understand?”

I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull! With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer and it seemed likely that he’d get gored before reaching safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

So, I threw down my tools, ran to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs.

“Your badge, show him your fucking BADGE!!!”

Edit: typos

Joke Poo: The Code Review

A Senior Engineer stopped by our team’s workstation yesterday. “I need to inspect your codebase for illegal refactoring practices.”

I said, “Okay, but don’t go near that particular module over there.”

The Senior Engineer verbally exploded, saying, “Junior, I have the authority of architectural integrity with me!” Reaching into his pocket, the engineer pulled out his certifications and shoved it in my face. “See these fucking certs? These certs mean I am allowed to review any code… in ANY module! No questions asked or answers given! Do I make myself clear? Do you understand?”

I nodded politely, apologized, and went back to debugging. A short time later, I heard loud cursing, looked up, and saw the Senior Engineer running for his life, being chased by our Tech Lead! With every line of code the Tech Lead was gaining ground on the engineer, highlighting his terrible design patterns with every iteration. The Engineer was clearly losing.

So, I threw down my tools, ran to my workstation, and shouted at the top of my lungs.

“Your certifications, show him your fucking CERTIFICATIONS!!!”

Okay, let’s dissect this joke.

Key Elements:

  • Setting: A farm, suggesting rural and perhaps "old-fashioned" values clashing with modern law enforcement.
  • Characters:
    • A farmer: Appears initially naive but turns out to be cunning.
    • A DEA officer: Arrogant, power-tripping, and ultimately outsmarted.
    • A bull: Symbol of raw, uncontrolled power, indifferent to authority.
  • Premise: A conflict between federal authority (the badge) and the farmer’s hidden knowledge/control over his environment (the bull). The irony lies in the officer’s bluster being useless against a non-human threat.
  • Punchline: The farmer’s sarcastic suggestion to "show him your badge!" highlights the absurdity of the officer’s misplaced confidence and the limitations of his authority. The badge which he was wielding so proudly means nothing to the bull.
  • Humor Type: Situational irony, schadenfreude (pleasure at the officer’s misfortune), and a bit of dark humor.

Enrichment Time!

Knowing that bulls are color blind (contrary to popular myth), we can play on this fact to amplify the humor of the joke. The badge has no effect on the bull, as the officer is about to find out.

Here’s a new joke inspired by the original, incorporating this bull-related fact:

New Joke:

A DEA officer, convinced he’d found a hidden marijuana grow, stormed onto my farm. "I have a warrant to search the premises!" he yelled, waving the document.

I shrugged. "Go ahead, but be careful near the prize-winning bull in that pasture."

Of course, he ignored me. He puffed out his chest and walked straight into the pasture. Within seconds, a bellow shattered the air, and the officer was running for his life, the bull thundering behind him.

As the officer scrambled over the fence, ripping his pants, I called out, "Hey! Maybe if you wave your warrant at him, the bull will respect the authority of the federal government!"

The officer, panting and covered in mud, glared at me. "Warrant? Warrants are worthless! I should have worn red pants! I didn’t know this bull was colorblind to the color of authority!"

Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A woman with small boobies buys a finely carved mirror at an antique shop.
  • [NSFW]People who write “burro” when they mean “burrow”
  • Threesome.
  • A cop is driving down the street when he sees a woman walking toward him with her right breast hanging out of her shirt.
  • Two men and one woman from different nations are stranded on an island
  • What do you call a group of snakes getting to together to talk smack about their owners?
  • Yo mama so clumsy
  • Man sits down at the bar and orders…
  • Two caterpillars are trying to escape from a pursuing spider…
  • What has five toes, but isn’t your foot?
  • Why did the Rebels in Star Wars go metric?
  • It was five o’clock, and the shift at the coal mine was over
  • A man doesn’t know the meaning of true happiness until he gets married.
  • “I’ve been talking to supernatural entities for years, and they are trying to seduce me,” I told my doctor.
  • When we were first married my wife had the body of a supermodel
  • A redneck goes to the doctor for a physical. “I need stool sample, a urine sample, and a sperm sample,” says the doctor.
  • Omar Epps moved nextdoor to Chris Hemsworth.
  • A drunk man is refused service at a bar, so he tries to sneak in through different doors
  • Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I’ve been with a loose girl.
  • Bubba and Billy Bob were known for having below average IQ around Little Rock.
  • Son: “Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin.”
  • My husband and i have a secret to making our marriage last.
  • A Proctologist Goes To The Grocery
  • A boy tells his father: “Dad, I have such a strong desire to live forever. What should I do?”
  • Confucius say baseball wrong.
  • The wrestler
  • God some people have no shame. Just got on a bus with 20 people in fetish costumes.
  • Why did the chicken go to the seance?
  • I went into my local bakery to buy a cake…
  • A wealthy real estate investor is looking to buy more land for development, but a local farmer won’t sell the last plot he needs
  • I found my absolute favorite machine at the gym today.
  • What do you call it when a boy finally claps back with a really good dad joke to his own dad?
  • Ma and Pa were two old folks living out on a farm up in the hills.
  • Why did the fat emu feel left out?
  • Adam a new recruit
  • A guy walks into a bar and orders a martini.
  • Had to throw out my carbon monoxide detector today.
  • Today I went to the optician. They said I am colorblind.
  • After sex last night my girlfriend said “your easily the biggest I’ve ever had.”.
  • My wife started doing black magic on dolls. I said, “This is nonsense.”
  • Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was.
  • A young family moved into the house next door to a vacant lot.
  • What do you do when you’re attacked by a gang of circus performers?
  • What has 9 hands and sucks?
  • I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes…..
  • An animal control official knocks on a man’s door
  • I had a weird living tree-guy do the tile for my bathroom.
  • A friar is like a monk, except that he’s not confined to a monastery.
  • My school got raided
  • What do you call it when cows masturbate?

Categories

  • "Walks into a bar"
  • Bartender
  • Blonde
  • Chicken
  • Dirty
  • Doctor
  • Dog
  • Heaven
  • Husband
  • Irishman
  • Knock Knock
  • Knock-Knock Joke
  • Lawyer
  • Lightbulb
  • Long
  • Mother-in-law
  • Politician
  • Priest
  • Religion
  • Totally Feckin random
  • Walks into a bar
  • What's the difference
  • Why Did
  • Wife
©2025 Joke Poo | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme