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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Posted on September 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender, surprised, exclaims, “Holy crap, a talking duck!”
The duck replies, “Oh, come on, I've had a rough day. I'm a bricklayer, and there's a house being built across the street. I'd like my beer, please.”

The bartender, offended, pours him his beer and says nothing more. After that, every day after work, the duck comes back and orders his beer.

The following Saturday, a guy walks into the bar and says to the bartender, “Hello, I'm a circus manager, and my circus is going to be in town for a week. Would you mind if I put some posters in your window?”

The bartender replies, "No problem, but I have to tell you, I have a great deal for you. A talking duck!"
The manager says, “If that's true, I'm interested, and I'm willing to share the profits with you.”
“Deal,” says the bartender.

The following Monday, the duck comes back after work and orders his beer. The bartender says, “Hey, I have a great deal for you. You could make a lot of money.”

The duck replies, “Yes, what is it?”

Bartender: A circus!

Duck: A circus?

Bartender: Yes, a circus!

Duck: A circus with clowns?

Bartender: Yes, a circus!

Duck: A circus with a big tent?

Bartender: Yes, a circus!

Duck: A circus with animals performing tricks?

Bartender: Yes!

Duck: And why do they need a bricklayer ?

Joke Poo: The Existential Ostrich

An ostrich waddles into a therapist’s office and sits (or rather, awkwardly perches) on the oversized couch.

The therapist, initially unfazed, says, “So, what brings you in today?”

The ostrich sighs, a long, raspy sound. “It’s… it’s my self-image. Everyone always makes the same joke.”

The therapist nods encouragingly. “And that is?”

The ostrich buries his head in the sand… of a decorative Zen garden on the coffee table. He emerges, flinging tiny pebbles. “That I bury my head in the sand! It’s a metaphor! I face my problems! I just… need to not see them sometimes to cope! It’s a coping mechanism! I’m working on it!”

The therapist thoughtfully strokes their chin. “I see. So, the jokes are a trigger?”

The ostrich squawks indignantly. “No! The holes are the trigger! Every time someone makes the joke, they dig a little hole for me! Soon, there’ll be so many holes, I won’t be able to take a single step without tripping and actually burying my head in the sand ironically.”

The therapist nods again. “And how does that make you feel?”

The ostrich looks down at his enormous feet. “Like an idiot who probably will bury his head in the sand eventually.” He pauses. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to get sand out of feathers?”

Alright, let’s quack this joke open and see what’s inside.

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Absurdity: A talking duck who is a bricklayer. This is the foundation of the humor – the juxtaposition of the ordinary (a working-class duck) with the extraordinary (talking, skilled labor).
  • Character Archetypes: The gruff bartender, the opportunistic circus manager, and the surprisingly down-to-earth duck. Their interactions drive the plot.
  • Narrative Structure: A setup (duck’s routine), a complication (circus manager), a proposed solution (duck in the circus), and a punchline that undermines the entire premise.
  • Punchline Mechanics: The punchline relies on the duck’s mundane profession being fundamentally incompatible with the flashy spectacle of a circus. It highlights the absurdity of the bartender’s proposition. It reveals the Duck’s lack of self-awareness about his uniqueness.

Key Elements for Enrichment:

  • Ducks: Their habits, biology, history in entertainment, etc.
  • Bricklaying: The history, tools, and required skill.
  • Circuses: History, animal acts, behind-the-scenes reality.
  • Talking Animals: Literary and cultural significance.
  • Bartenders: Traditions, stereotypes, psychology of service.

Comedic Enrichment & New Joke Idea:

Okay, using the joke’s elements, let’s focus on bricklaying.

Did You Know: The Romans were masters of brickwork, even developing a system of brick stamps to track production and quality. Imagine if our duck bricklayer had a tiny beak-sized Roman brick stamp!

New Joke Concept: Duck OSHA Violation

Setup:

A health and safety inspector is doing a routine visit to a construction site. He sees a duck wearing a hard hat, laying bricks with incredible precision.

Inspector: “Excuse me, sir! I need to see your qualifications. This is impressive work, but I’ve never seen a bricklaying duck before.”

Duck: (Sighs, puts down his trowel) “Alright, alright… here’s my Bricklayers Union card, Local 322… and my respiratory protection certification. Satisfied?”

Inspector: “Well, the paperwork’s in order… but I still have some concerns. Do you have proper hearing protection?”

Duck: “Of course! What do you think I am, some kind of amateur? Where is my protection anyway?”

Punchline:
(The duck then turns, leans over and removes a small object that resembles a tiny version of a construction earplug from a pair of holes on the side of his head.)
Inspector: “Those are NOT earplugs, that is a tampon”
Duck: “I guess the construction store was not kidding when they said, ‘This will make it so you cannot hear a peep from your wife!'”

Todays SH1T Jokes

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