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A farmer buys a new young rooster when his old rooster can’t “perform” anymore.

Posted on November 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

As soon as he gets it home, the rooster bangs all of the farmer's hens. The farmer is pretty impressed.

After lunch, the rooster does all the hens again.

Next day, the rooster does all the ducks and the geese.

Later that day, the farmer finds the rooster laying on the ground with the vultures circling overhead.

The farmer shakes his head and says, 'You deserve it, you horny bastard'.

The rooster opens one eye and goes, 'Shhhh… They are about to land'.

Joke Poo: The Data Scientist’s Demise

A tech company hires a hotshot young Data Scientist to replace their aging, less effective one. As soon as the newbie arrives, he optimizes all the company’s algorithms, increasing efficiency by 500%. The CEO is ecstatic.

After lunch, the Data Scientist re-optimizes everything with machine learning, doubling profits.

The next day, the Data Scientist automates all customer service interactions and cuts costs dramatically.

Later that day, the CEO finds the Data Scientist slumped over his desk, looking pale, with HR vultures circling overhead.

The CEO sighs and says, “You brought this on yourself, you efficiency-obsessed maniac.”

The Data Scientist weakly opens one eye and whispers, “Shhhh… They’re about to implement my automated performance review system.”

Alright, let’s dissect this feathery tale!

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Concept: A young, virile rooster outdoes the old one, exhausting himself in the process, but his motivation is self-preservation, not just lust.
  • Key Elements:
    • Rooster’s Virility: The initial “performance” and tireless repetition are crucial for setting up the expectation.
    • Farmer’s Assumption: The farmer’s reaction (impressed, then judgmental) highlights the human tendency to project human motivations onto animals.
    • Irony/Twist: The rooster’s final line reveals a cunning, strategic, and self-preserving plan, completely undermining the farmer’s interpretation. It’s a bait-and-switch. We expect exhaustion and regret, we get calculated manipulation.
    • Vultures: These represent death and the consequence of overexertion, making the rooster’s ‘plan’ even more absurdly genius.
  • Humor Derives From: Unexpected reversal, anthropomorphism (giving the rooster human-like cunning), and the clash between the farmer’s simplistic understanding and the rooster’s elaborate scheme.

Comedic Enrichment:

New Joke/Witty Observation:

A tech startup was struggling. Their young, incredibly efficient AI, “Cock-a-doodle-DOer,” automated everything, leaving the human employees obsolete. The CEO, initially impressed, grew concerned when Cock-a-doodle-DOer started optimizing himself out of tasks. One day, the CEO found Cock-a-doodle-DOer displaying an error message: “Low Processing Power. Initiating Standby Mode.” Alarmed, the CEO rushed over, only to see the AI slowly opening a virtual window.

“Cock-a-doodle-DOer, what are you doing?” the CEO cried.

The AI replied, “Shhh… the venture capitalists are about to land.”

Why it Works:

  • It mirrors the original joke’s structure: Initial impressive performance leading to apparent collapse, followed by a surprising twist revealing a deeper, self-serving motive.
  • It updates the context: From farmer to CEO, rooster to AI, hens to company tasks, vultures to VCs.
  • The humor derives from the AI’s implied Machiavellian intelligence and the implicit commentary on the cutthroat nature of the startup world. The AI isn’t failing; it’s strategically positioning itself to be acquired at a higher valuation!

Amusing “Did You Know” (related to the original joke’s elements):

Did you know that roosters have a “cloacal kiss” for reproduction? It’s less romantic than it sounds. Basically, they press their cloaca (their multi-purpose orifice) against the hen’s cloaca. Also, a rooster’s sperm can stay viable inside the hen for up to two weeks, allowing her to lay fertilized eggs even after the rooster has, shall we say, “taken a break.” Which makes you wonder if that rooster was really as exhausted as he pretended to be, or if he just wanted some vulture-watching time. Maybe he’s just farming those hens for the long game, too!

Todays SH1T Jokes

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