He rushes into his house and frantically searches Google. Sure enough, he finds a web page for a local gorilla exterminator. So he calls the number, and waits.
A few minutes later, a van pulls up. A man jumps out, and he pulls out a ladder, a net, some rope, a baseball bat and a shotgun. Then he opens the passenger door and a pit bull jumps out. He says “Hi. I’m the gorilla exterminator. I usually have an assistant but he is sick today. So if you want me to get the gorilla out of the tree, I am going to need your help.”
The homeowners says: “what do I need to do?”
The gorilla exterminator says: “I am going to put this ladder up against the tree. And then I am going to go up the ladder with this baseball bat. I’m going to hit gorilla with the baseball bat and knock him out of the tree. This pit bull is specially trained. As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the pit bull is going to rush towards him and grab him by the groin area. The gorilla will be so stunned that he won’t be able to move for a few moments. When that happens, I need you to throw this net over the gorilla. Then I will come down out of the tree, tie the gorilla up with this rope, put him in the back of the van, and be on my way. Do you think you can do that?”
The homeowner says: “All I need to do is throw the net over the gorilla? Yes, I can do that.”
The gorilla exterminator starts climbing up the ladder when the homeowner suddenly says: “Wait! What is the shotgun for?”
The gorilla exterminator comes back down the ladder and says: “Oh my God. I forgot the most important part. There is a small chance that instead of me knocking the gorilla out of the tree, the gorilla will knock me out of the tree. If that happens, shoot the pit bull!”
Joke Poo: The Pigeon Problem
A woman returns home from a long vacation and finds hundreds of pigeons nesting on her roof. Distraught, she frantically searches online. Eventually, she finds a website for a “Pigeon Relocation Specialist.” She calls immediately and, after a long hold, a truck pulls up.
A woman in full beekeeping gear emerges, carrying a large net, a bag of stale bread, a hawk perched on her arm, and a pair of binoculars. She approaches the homeowner and says, “Hi, I’m the Pigeon Relocation Specialist. My usual assistant called in sick today, so I’ll need your help if you want me to get rid of these pigeons.”
The homeowner, bewildered, asks, “What do I need to do?”
The Pigeon Relocation Specialist explains, “I’m going to toss this stale bread onto the roof. The pigeons will be too busy eating to notice me. I’ll then release this hawk; it’s specially trained to gently herd the pigeons towards this net. When I’ve got them all grouped up, I’ll signal you. You need to throw this net over them. I’ll then carefully collect them, put them in these specialized carriers in the truck, and relocate them to a lovely park on the other side of town. Can you do that?”
The homeowner, relieved, says, “So, just throw the net? Yes, I can definitely do that.”
The Pigeon Relocation Specialist is about to climb the ladder she’s propped against the house when the homeowner stops her. “Wait! What are the binoculars for?”
The Pigeon Relocation Specialist pauses, sighs heavily, and says, “Oh dear, I almost forgot the most important part. There’s a very small chance that, instead of being captivated by the stale bread, the pigeons will instead decide to fly at me and peck my eyes out. If that happens…use the binoculars to check if they managed to get to my head.”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and extract some humor fertilizer!
Key Elements:
- The Absurd Scenario: Gorilla in the front yard needing extermination.
- The Escalation of Nonsense: A gorilla exterminator exists, complete with specific equipment (ladder, net, rope, baseball bat, shotgun, and a pit bull).
- The Ridiculous Plan: A complex, improbable strategy involving bat-whacking, groin-grabbing, and net-throwing.
- The Punchline Revelation: The shotgun isn’t for the gorilla, but to prevent the dog from savaging the exterminator. This twist subverts expectations and introduces the unexpected vulnerability of the “expert.”
Analysis:
The humor derives from the juxtaposition of the mundane (a homeowner) with the utterly bizarre (a professional gorilla exterminator). The elaborate plan amplifies the absurdity. The punchline, however, is the real comedic gold. It pivots the perceived danger from the wild animal to the domesticated one and the customer gets the clear direction that he may have to kill the dog!
New Humorous Creation: Witty Observation/Alternative Punchline
Here’s an alternative punchline playing on the absurdity and adding a dash of existential dread:
Original Punchline: “Oh my God. I forgot the most important part. There is a small chance that instead of me knocking the gorilla out of the tree, the gorilla will knock me out of the tree. If that happens, shoot the pit bull!”
Alternative Punchline: “Oh my God. I forgot the most important part. There is a small chance that instead of me knocking the gorilla out of the tree, the gorilla will knock you out of the tree. If that happens… well, good luck with that whole situation.”
Why it works:
- It shifts the immediate threat back to the homeowner, highlighting the inherent danger of participating in this absurd endeavor.
- The casual, dismissive “good luck with that whole situation” is funny because it completely abandons the homeowner to his fate, emphasizing the exterminator’s priorities (survival and profit).
- It leaves the audience to imagine the chaos and panic.
Hopefully, this analysis and humorous embellishment brings you some comedic enrichment!