The cop goes over to the guy and says, “You were going over 90 mph in a 55 mph zone. I’m gonna have to write you a ticket for that, sir.”
“Could you give me a break on this one?” Replies the guy. “I was only going that fast because I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to go as fast as a big league fastball.”
“Interesting. ‘Cause I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to catch a big league fastball.”
Joke Poo: The Gardener’s Grievance
A woman is meticulously weeding her prize-winning rose garden when the HOA president storms over, face red with fury.
“Madam,” he bellows, “I have received numerous complaints! You are using an illegal fertilizer! It’s making your roses bloom at an unseemly rate, overshadowing everyone else’s pathetic, normal roses! I’m going to have to issue you a citation!”
“Oh, could you possibly overlook it this one time?” the woman replies sweetly. “I only used that particular fertilizer because I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to cultivate prize-winning roses that make everyone else jealous.”
“Interesting,” the HOA president grunts, crossing his arms. “‘Cause I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to write up the damn gardener who made everyone else feel inadequate.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then swing for the fences with a comedic follow-up.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A typical traffic stop scenario (speeding).
- Premise: The driver offers an absurd (and transparently false) excuse for speeding. He equates his desire to experience a specific speed with the velocity of a Major League fastball.
- Punchline: The cop responds with a similarly absurd and self-serving desire, wanting to experience catching that fastball. This unexpected twist turns the situation on its head, suggesting a playful (and probably impossible) power dynamic.
- Humor Source: The humor comes from the unexpected escalation of absurdity. The cop doesn’t dismiss the driver, doesn’t become angry, but meets the driver at his own ridiculous level. It also leans into the implied pain and danger of catching a major league fastball.
Key Elements:
- Speeding/Traffic Stop: Common, relatable (and often annoying) experience.
- Big League Fastball: Represents extreme speed and inherent danger.
- Absurdity/Exaggeration: The core comedic device. Both parties are making ridiculous claims.
- Unexpected Twist: The cop playing along is the crucial element.
Comedic Enrichment: A “Did You Know?”
Original Joke Enhancement:
After the cop’s line, “Cause I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to catch a big league fastball,” add:
“Did you know that Major League catchers, despite wearing significant protective gear, still experience forces equivalent to being punched in the chest by a lightweight boxer with every pitch they catch? Maybe I’ll let you practice.”
New Joke:
Why did the baseball coach make the speeding driver the catcher for practice?
Because he was already used to making up wild excuses, and he figured someone who could imagine going 90 mph wouldn’t be afraid of a little pain.
Explanation:
The “Did You Know?” enriches the original joke by injecting a surprising and slightly disturbing fact about the forces involved in catching a fastball. It emphasizes the unrealistic nature of the cop’s statement.
The new joke plays on the established character of the driver and his penchant for creative explanations, tying it back to the surprising situation of being drafted as the catcher.