Closing time comes around and they decide to take the party back to his house. He gets in the door and the twins immediately drop and one starts blowing him while the other tounges his balls and asshole. They had a rest and more drinks and then make it onto the bed and while he's pumping away the other twin is fondling his sack. The third time they grease up the spot where they're connected and they let him fuck it while they make out.
Two weeks later the twins are walking and they pass by his house. The first twin says "We should go and say hello? We had a lot of fun there." The second twin says "I dunno, do you think he'll remember us?"
Joke Poo: The Accountant’s Audit
An accountant walks into a very specialized massage parlor. He’s greeted by a pair of exceptionally skilled, conjoined twins, fused at the hip. Intrigued and feeling stressed from tax season, he books a full body massage with them.
The session begins, and the twins are phenomenal. One twin works on his tense shoulders, expertly kneading out the knots. The other twin simultaneously focuses on his aching feet, applying just the right pressure. They continue like this, alternating focus and using their shared body to reach every corner of his weary frame, hitting every pressure point imaginable, bringing him to a state of utter bliss.
Closing time approaches, and the accountant, feeling completely rejuvenated, pays the twins handsomely and leaves.
Two weeks later, the twins are walking down the street and pass by the accountant’s office. The first twin says, "We should go in and see how he’s doing. We really gave him a great massage!"
The second twin hesitates, "I don’t know… do you think he’ll itemize us?"
Alright, let’s break down this… ahem… "joke."
Core Elements of the Joke:
- Conjoined Twins: This is the central, attention-grabbing element. Their physical connection is the source of both the outrageousness and the punchline’s misunderstanding.
- Sexual Act: The humor, such as it is, relies heavily on the increasingly improbable and graphically described sexual acts facilitated (or perhaps complicated) by the twins’ condition.
- Misunderstanding/Insecurity: The punchline hinges on the second twin’s insecurity about being remembered, implying she thought of herself as forgettable, contrasting with the highly memorable sexual encounter the man experienced.
Analysis:
The joke thrives on shock value and a twist. The reader expects the twins’ unusual condition to be the primary obstacle, but the punchline reveals a more relatable insecurity about being noticed or remembered. It’s crude, visually arresting (whether welcome or not), and exploits societal discomfort with both sexuality and physical differences.
Comedic Enrichment – Building on the Elements:
Let’s leverage some interesting facts about conjoined twins to create a more sophisticated (or at least differently-oriented) comedic payoff.
Did You Know? The success rate for separating conjoined twins varies greatly depending on the point of connection and the organs shared. In some cases, it’s impossible without sacrificing one or both twins.
New Joke/Observation:
"I was reading about conjoined twins and how difficult separation surgery can be. It really puts those awkward ‘who gets the last slice of pizza’ moments with your roommate into perspective. I mean, at least you’re not surgically attached! Imagine that conversation: ‘I deserve the pizza, Karen! You’re getting 80% of the liver!’"
Another Approach (Witty Observation):
"The real tragedy of being conjoined twins isn’t the shared wardrobe or the difficulty parallel parking. It’s having to agree on a Netflix show every. single. night."
Why these work:
- Connect to reality: By bringing the discussion back to separation surgery (or the struggles of a Netflix show) it shifts the focus from the shocking initial joke to a more relatable and more relatable element.
- Twist the focus: The humour becomes less about the gross elements of the joke and more about mundane comparisons and shared human experiences. This might still not be to everyone’s taste, but it at least avoids the more problematic aspects of the original.
- Irony: The contrast between the life-or-death stakes of separation surgery and the triviality of everyday problems (like who gets the last slice) creates a humorous juxtaposition.
These options attempt to find humour in a slightly less offensive way while maintaining the themes of the original joke.