Where after another couple of drinks they proceed into the bedroom, and start banging in the missionary position. Half an hour, an hour, two hours… She's already had multiple orgasms, when suddenly he pulls out, and says: "Okay, now you won't see me for a very long time." Disappointed, the woman asks: "Do I have to leave?" He goes: "No, turn around."
Joke Poo: The Art Critic
An art critic visits a new, trendy gallery opening. After admiring (and loudly critiquing) several pieces, he finds himself drawn to a minimalist sculpture: a single, pristine white cube on a pedestal. He circles it, strokes his chin, and pontificates to a nearby gallery-goer for nearly an hour about its subtle commentary on consumerism, its clever use of negative space, and its bold subversion of traditional artistic form.
Just as he’s reaching the crescendo of his analysis, the artist, a nervous young man, approaches and coughs politely. “Excuse me, sir,” he says, “I hesitate to interrupt, but…that’s actually a newly-installed bathroom fixture. The plumber stepped out for lunch.”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke!
Joke Breakdown:
- Setup: Man and woman meet in a bar, go back to his place, engage in prolonged, pleasurable missionary-position sex. Establishes a scene of intimacy (albeit perhaps fleeting).
- Twist: The man makes a seemingly hurtful statement (“Okay, now you won’t see me for a very long time”), implying abandonment.
- Reversal: The woman’s disappointment leads to the man wanting to change to the cowgirl position, “turn around.” The ‘long time’ refers to the different view.
Key Elements:
- Missionary Position: The foundational sexual position, implying a level of conventionality or tradition.
- Duration: The emphasis on extended sexual activity (hours, multiple orgasms) builds tension and expectation.
- Misinterpretation: The woman assumes emotional abandonment, highlighting a potential fear or insecurity in such situations.
- Physicality vs. Emotionality: The core humor comes from the clash between the physical act of sex and the implied emotional connection. The man is focused on the position, while the woman projects emotional significance onto his statement.
Comedic Enrichment:
Given these elements, here’s a new joke/witty observation building off the original:
New Joke:
A couple is arguing. She says, “Our relationship is always missionary position! Predictable, boring, and always on your terms!”
He replies, “Hey! We went cowgirl once…”
She retorts, “Yeah, and you spent the whole time telling me to slow down and look at the TV!”
Explanation:
- Builds on the original position critique: The new joke keeps the missionary position as a symbol of monotony or unequal power dynamics.
- Re-contextualizes the original punchline: Instead of being sexually liberating, the cowgirl experience is similarly flawed. The woman can’t enjoy it.
- Adds a new layer of humor: The TV detail makes the male desire selfish.
Alternative: “Did You Know?” (Amusing & Relevant):
Did you know that the missionary position is thought to be named as such because Victorian missionaries used it to “civilize” the sexual practices of the cultures they encountered? So, the next time your partner suggests it, you can say, “Are you trying to evangelize my genitals?!” (and then immediately clarify that it’s a joke… unless…)