"Well, what happened?" his buddy asks.
And the guy says, "I practically shit her pants."
Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” take on the original:
Joke Poo: The Linguist
A linguist tells his colleague, “So, my neighbor came over earlier and accused me of misusing the word ‘literally’.”
“Well, what happened?” his colleague asks.
And the linguist says, “I practically verb-ed his noun.”
Alright, let’s dive into this joke.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A neighbor accuses the guy of stealing clothes. This creates tension and expectation of a denial or explanation.
- Punchline: “I practically shit her pants.” This is a pun based on the idiom “I practically shit my pants” (meaning to be very scared). The humor lies in the literal and unexpected application of the idiom to the neighbor’s clothes, implying a severe overreaction or absurd display of panic/guilt.
- Key Elements: Theft, Clothing, Fear, Idioms, Physical Comedy (implied action)
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:
Now, let’s pick up on the “clothing” and “theft” elements to create something new.
Option 1: A ‘Did You Know’ Factoid with a Pun
“Did you know that in the late 18th and early 19th centuries, clothing theft, particularly of linen, was a major crime in England punishable by transportation or even death? In fact, some thieves were so notorious, they practically lined their own pockets with stolen goods… and maybe even left their victims seam-less with terror!”
Explanation: This takes the factual element of historical clothing theft and adds a pun related to clothing to make it humorous.
Option 2: A New Joke
A historian is presenting a lecture on 18th-century crime. He says, “Clothing theft was rampant. Think about it: No Ziploc bags, no security tags. Bandits could make off with your finery in the blink of an eye. It was a truly shady time…especially if someone stole your favorite sun hat.”
Explanation: Builds upon the historical factoid in option 1 and adds a punchline with a pun based on the word “shady” and using a sun hat.
Option 3: Witty Observation
“The joke about stealing clothes and ‘practically shitting her pants’ is funny because it highlights the ridiculous extremes of fear. In reality, the most likely response to a clothing theft accusation is awkwardness, passive aggression, and maybe a scathing note on the HOA bulletin board. The punchline creates a surreal juxtaposition of the trivial (missing socks) and the existential (bowel control gone wild).”
Explanation: This observation emphasizes the absurdity and overreaction in the original joke.
I’ve used the elements of clothing theft and fear to add a historical context and create new humor through wordplay and observational comedy. The key is to find interesting connections and apply unexpected twists.

