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A heroin addict, a cocaine addict and a weed addict chatting in their cell….

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

about how they would escape. The heroin addict says “I’d shoot up into my vein and float out through the bars”, The coke head says “I’d snort the biggest line and run straight through the wall”, the smoke head says “I’d smoke the longest thickest blunt ever and……worry about it tomorrow.

Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, aiming to riff on the original’s structure and comedic timing:

Joke Poo: Procrastination Station

A software engineer, a marketing executive, and an accountant are stuck in a never-ending meeting…

…complaining about how they’ll actually get their work done. The software engineer says, “I’ll dive deep into the code, find a critical bug, and get a free pass to debug all night!” The marketing executive says, “I’ll conjure a viral campaign so urgent, everyone has to drop everything and help me!” The accountant says, “I’ll balance the books, then… figure out a system to automate it by next quarter, maybe.”

Alright, let’s break down this joke.

Key Elements:

  • Premise: Three drug addicts are imprisoned and discuss escape plans. The humor comes from applying the stereotypical effects of each drug to the escape scenario.
  • Characters: Heroin addict (sedation/dreamlike state), Cocaine addict (hyperactivity/delusions of grandeur), Weed addict (apathy/procrastination).
  • Punchline: The weed addict embodies the stoner stereotype of postponing problems (“worry about it tomorrow”). It’s an ironic and self-aware punchline.
  • Type of Humor: Observational, Stereotypical, Self-deprecating (in a dark comedy kind of way)

Analysis:

The joke works because it takes familiar drug stereotypes and places them in an unexpected scenario (prison escape). The humor derives from the absurdity of imagining these stereotypes in action. The weed addict’s punchline is funny because it’s a relatable and often-parodied trait.

Now, let’s create some comedic enrichment!

New Joke Idea (playing on historical context):

Three historical figures – Sigmund Freud (renowned for his cocaine use), Samuel Taylor Coleridge (famous for his opium addiction), and Queen Victoria (prescribed cannabis for menstrual cramps) – are trapped in a malfunctioning time machine.

Freud says, “I shall psychoanalyze the machine’s subconscious urges until it yields its secrets!”

Coleridge declares, “I will drift into a blissful, drug-induced reverie and envision the path back to our own era!”

Queen Victoria sighs, takes a long drag from a jade pipe, and says, “Perhaps we should simply order some crumpets and address this most regrettable situation… later.”

Witty Observation (on the stereotype):

It’s funny how the “worry about it tomorrow” stoner stereotype is so prevalent, considering cannabis was used medicinally for centuries. I guess the “worry about it tomorrow” applied more to getting a doctor’s note than escaping a Roman legion.

Amusing “Did You Know” (related to the drugs and their effects):

Did you know that Cocaine use might be associated with high blood pressure? So, maybe a coke head shouldn’t run through a wall even if they think they can.
Fun fact, when people try to run through walls they often suffer from broken bones, concussions, or even death. So the high blood pressure caused by Cocaine is very rarely ever the main cause of any injuries relating to wall running.
Perhaps this could imply that there is more going on than mere cocaine use. Perhaps the coke addict has a higher need for attention or a desire to escape. Regardless the coke addict has deeper needs they need to fulfill.

Did you know that Heroin has been marketed as cough medicine for children in the past? If the heroin addict floats through the bars, it’s only because they’ve regressed to a time when drugs were marketed as healthy for children.

Did you know that the oldest evidence of cannabis use dates back 2,700 years and was found in a tomb in Central Asia? Maybe that stoner knew something we didn’t, perhaps there was a secret to escape, hidden in the burial tomb of ancient civilizations. Perhaps there’s a reason why the stoner has the most chill and wise advice about escaping!

These additions hopefully add a layer of historical context, absurdity, or unexpected insight to the original joke, enhancing its comedic impact.

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