A lighthouse keeper subcribes to a monthly magazine. At the start of the month the postman gets into a boat and rows his way to the island with the lighthouse. After an hour, he arrives and has to walk up the stairs to the top. He throws the magazine onto the desk with a very spiteful look. The keeper says:
—If you keep up that attitude I'm gonna subscribe to the daily newspaper
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of the lighthouse keeper joke, titled “Drone Delivery Demands”:
Drone Delivery Demands
A remote mountain hermit subscribes to a weekly artisanal cheese-of-the-month club. Every week, a delivery drone whirs its way to his mountaintop cabin. After navigating treacherous winds and dodging territorial eagles, the drone drops the package with a violent thud onto the porch. The hermit emerges, inspecting the box with disdain. He calls the customer service line and says:
“If you don’t start including a complimentary miniature cheese knife, I’m canceling my subscription and switching to daily truffle oil deliveries.”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke and then inject some comedic steroids into it.
Joke Analysis:
- Core Concept: The humor hinges on the absurdity of subscribing to a daily newspaper when the monthly magazine delivery is already causing immense aggravation to the delivery person. The punchline is the lighthouse keeper threatening to escalate the inconvenience drastically.
- Key Elements:
- Isolated Location: The lighthouse on an island.
- Complicated Delivery: The boat row and climb to the lighthouse.
- Exaggerated Resentment: The postman’s “spiteful look”.
- Threat of Escalation: The lighthouse keeper’s counter-threat.
Comedic Enrichment:
Now, let’s leverage some facts about lighthouses and magazine subscriptions to generate a new joke/observation:
Option 1: Amusing “Did You Know?” Enhancement
Original Joke Add-on: …The keeper says: “If you keep up that attitude I’m gonna subscribe to the daily newspaper!”
Did You Know? Originally, lighthouse keepers didn’t have to worry about deliveries! Many were equipped with Fresnel lenses, which concentrated light so intensely they could be seen up to 20 nautical miles away. The real challenge was just keeping the lens clean – a single fingerprint could significantly reduce its effectiveness. So, complaining about a magazine delivery is like complaining about your cappuccino while standing on the moon!
Option 2: New Joke Based on the Same Premise
Headline: Amazon Drone Delivery Test to Isolated Lighthouse Deemed “Unsuccessful”
Joke Setup: Amazon trialed drone delivery to a remote lighthouse. After several weeks of failed attempts, involving multiple drones crashing into the lighthouse windows, hitting seagulls, and short-circuiting from sea spray, Jeff Bezos personally called the lighthouse keeper.
Punchline: Bezos, exasperated, shouted, “What magazine ARE you even subscribing to that’s worth all this trouble?!” The keeper replied, “It’s not the magazine, Jeff. I’m subscribed to Amazon Prime.“
Option 3: Witty Observation on Modern Lighthouses
“These days, with GPS and automated systems, lighthouse keepers are mostly historical figures. But imagine a future where lighthouses become luxury eco-retreats. You’d have guests complaining about the Wi-Fi signal while simultaneously enjoying a 360-degree ocean view. The real irony? They’d probably be reading digital magazines on their tablets.”
Explanation of Comedic Choices:
- “Did You Know?” Enhancement: Adds a layer of irony by highlighting the historical challenges of lighthouse keeping compared to the modern, comparatively trivial problem of magazine delivery.
- Amazon Drone Joke: Plays on the absurdity of modern technology clashing with a traditionally isolated setting and Amazon’s aggressive expansion. The “Prime” subscription punchline adds another layer of escalation, similar to the original joke.
- Witty Observation: Focuses on the potential for lighthouses to evolve into something completely different, highlighting the changing nature of technology and luxury, and the continued obsession with connectivity, even in the most remote settings.
The goal is to build upon the core humor of the original joke, either by adding factual context, exaggerating the absurdity, or drawing parallels to contemporary situations.