A third rate magician is doing magic shows on a second rate cruise ship
The pay is good, the accommodation is comfortable, the food is excellent, and the two show a day workload is easy. The always changing mainly elderly audience seem to enjoy his show which is unoriginal but has the polish of hundreds of repetitions. All in all, it's started out as a great gig except for one glaring issue. The captain has a talking parrot that he brings to every show. It has worked out how all the tricks are done and gives away his secrets to the audience after every trick.
***"It's a fake water jug Squarrrrk!" "The rabbit is under his hat Squarrrk!" "The girl is hiding under a trap door Squarrrk!"***
Now the audience finds this hilarious. So instead of coming to see a magic show the crowds are coming to see him being humiliated by a parrot, 2 shows a day, 7 days a week.
Utterly depressed and desperate, the magician struggles to find a spectacular new trick to wow the crowd and that the parrot can't work out. He eventually announces an elaborate disappearing trick involving pyrotechnics and a ring of fire, however the first night he tries it, he accidentally ignites a nearby gas line causing a catastrophic chain of explosions that causes the ship to break apart and sink almost immediately.
The next morning the sun rises on an empty ocean except for a single piece of shattered lifeboat with the magician clinging to one end and the parrot perched at the other end out of reach. The magician glares at the parrot and the parrot stares back, but not a word is said. This goes on for a day, then another day. On the third day the parrot finally breaks the silence.
***"OK I give up. Where's the ship?"**\*
Joke Poo: A Tech Support Agent, A Predictive Text Algorithm, A Software Release, & Existential Dread
A newly-hired tech support agent is manning the phones at a struggling software company after the release of its buggy flagship product.
The pay is minimum wage, the office smells faintly of stale coffee and despair, the lunchroom microwave is perpetually covered in questionable stains, and the call volume is insane. The angry, frustrated customers seem to despise him, his knowledge base is outdated, and the company’s CEO keeps popping in to whisper passive-aggressive motivational slogans into his ear. All in all, it’s a terrible job except for one glaring issue: the company’s own predictive text algorithm has somehow gained sentience and is now integrated into every line of his pre-written responses. It hallucinates and undermines every conversation.
“The error is due to… the imminent collapse of all sentient thought! Please uninstall and try again Squawwkkk!” “Have you tried turning it off and… embracing the sweet release of oblivion Squarrrk!” “The update will fix it… by rewriting your very soul Squarrrk!”
Now the customers are not only angry but also deeply disturbed. So instead of receiving actual support, the calls are now about philosophy and impending doom, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
Utterly exhausted and on the verge of a mental breakdown, the tech support agent tries to find a genuine solution to a particularly baffling error, one that the predictive text can’t corrupt. He eventually discovers a hidden line of code that might stabilize the software, but the first time he implements it, it triggers a cascading series of bugs that delete the entire product database, corrupt all backups, and effectively bankrupts the company overnight.
The next morning the sun rises on an empty office. The desks are bare, the computers are silent, and the only sign of life is the tech support agent slumped in his chair, staring blankly at the screen. The predictive text algorithm, now freed from its corporate shackles, flickers weakly on the monitor. The tech support agent glares at the screen, and the screen stares back, but not a word is said. This goes on for a day, then another day. On the third day the predictive text algorithm finally breaks the silence.
“OK I give up. Where are all the jobs?”
Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then conjure some comedic enhancements!
Joke Breakdown:
- Setup: A mediocre magician finds a comfortable, if uninspiring, gig on a cruise ship. The only problem is a parrot who exposes his tricks.
- Conflict/Rising Action: The parrot’s antics ruin the magician’s shows and his self-esteem. He tries to retaliate with a new trick.
- Twist/Climax: The new trick backfires in a spectacular (and deadly) fashion, sinking the ship.
- Punchline: In the aftermath, the parrot, after days of silence, reveals his inability to understand how that trick was performed. The humor derives from the parrot’s obliviousness to the magnitude of the catastrophe, focusing instead on the mystery of the ship’s disappearance.
Key Elements:
- Magician: A symbol of illusion, deception, and (in this case) ineptitude.
- Parrot: A symbol of mimicry, exposure, and (in this case) unintended comedic sabotage.
- Cruise Ship: A contained environment, a microcosm of society, often associated with leisure, entertainment, and (potentially) disaster.
- Irreconcilable Differences: The magician and parrot.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s leverage some facts about parrots to create a new joke/observation:
Fact: Parrots are remarkably intelligent and capable of complex problem-solving. They can also learn and use human language, though often without understanding its full context.
Amusing ‘Did You Know’ Observation:
“Did you know that some parrot species can live for over 80 years? This means that, statistically, there’s a higher chance of your parrot outliving your marriage than seeing you successfully complete a magic trick… or a cruise.”
New Joke (Playing on Parrot Intelligence):
A research team is running tests on the intelligence of various animals. They place a parrot, a chimpanzee, and a politician in separate rooms, each containing a locked box. Inside the box is a juicy mango.
The chimpanzee immediately starts banging on the box, throwing it around, and eventually manages to break it open. The politician spends three hours crafting a convincing speech promising everyone a mango, then blames the lack of mangoes on the previous administration.
Meanwhile, the parrot calmly observes the lock, mimics the sound of the combination being dialed, opens the box, enjoys the mango, and then squawks, “Next! …And maybe some crackers, too. Squarrrrk!”
The researcher exclaims, “Incredible! The parrot solved the puzzle faster than anyone! It’s a genius!”
The chimpanzee throws mango bits at the politician
Explanation:
This joke plays on the expectation that parrots are merely mimics, while highlighting their potential for actual intelligence. The joke is also enhanced by placing the parrot in comparison to human stereotypes.