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A Maltese man goes to a nutritionist

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

A Maltese man goes to a nutritionist.

The nutritionist says "Hello, what seems to be the problem?"

The Maltese man says "Well, I just realsied how important nutrition is! You see, this morning I woke up and I wasn't very hungry, but I was a little peckish, so I ate six fried eggs with sausages and bacon. I immediately got a terrible case of heartburn, probably because there was too much acid in my stomache, so I ate a carton of ice cream to neutralise it. But that gave me terrible diarrhea, probably because of all the lactose, so I ate a bolognese with wholemeal pasta to introduce more fibre to my stools. But that gave me a terrible stomach ache, probably because the sauce was very rich, so I ate a whole loaf of bread to absorb all the richness in my stomach. But that made me feel very sleepy, probably becuase my blood sugar was dropping, so I ate a piece of chocolate fudge, and now I feel fine!"

The nutritionist looks at his watch and sees its only 11am, and this man has already eaten at least 4,000 calories. He says "Sir, how can I help?"

The Maltese man smiles and says "I'd like to apply for a job"

Joke Poo: The Software Engineer’s Bug

A stressed-out software engineer goes to a therapist.

The therapist says, “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

The engineer says, “Well, I just realized how important debugging is! You see, this morning I woke up and I wasn’t feeling very productive, but I needed to fix some issues, so I implemented six new features with no testing. I immediately got a terrible case of merge conflicts, probably because there were too many changes overlapping, so I reverted to an old version to neutralize it. But that gave me terrible performance issues, probably because of all the deprecated code, so I refactored the core modules to introduce more efficiency to the system. But that gave me a terrible memory leak, probably because the new code was very complex, so I implemented a caching system to absorb all the memory usage. But that made me feel very sleepy, probably because I was staring at the screen, so I drank an energy drink and now I feel fine!”

The therapist looks at his watch and sees it’s only 11 AM, and this man has already deployed at least 4,000 lines of code. He says, “Sir, how can I help?”

The software engineer smiles and says, “I’d like a code review!”

Alright, let’s dissect this joke!

Key Elements:

  • Premise: A Maltese man visits a nutritionist. This establishes a setting of health/dietary advice and introduces a character nationality (Maltese).
  • Exaggerated Eating Habits: The core of the humor is the man’s ridiculously unhealthy and reactive eating pattern. He’s a walking food-based Rube Goldberg machine.
  • Faulty Logic: The man justifies each unhealthy choice with incorrect or simplistic explanations (acid neutralization, fiber for diarrhea, etc.).
  • Absurd Conclusion: The punchline hinges on the expectation that he’s seeking help with his diet, only to reveal he wants a job. This flips the script and adds to the absurdity.
  • Cultural element The Maltese man acts as a cultural signifier – implying an easy going, perhaps slightly unsophisticated demeanor.

New Humor Creation:

Based on these elements, particularly the faulty logic and food-based Rube Goldberg machine, here’s a joke:

New Joke:

Why did the Maltese scientist invent a potato-powered alarm clock?

Because he knew that if he woke up feeling groggy, he could just eat the clock for a quick carb boost to help him to feel more energetic. Plus, he was always afraid of a clock-related meltdown, so at least the potatoes would absorb the mess!

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