They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day, the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
“Honey,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”
“Oh,” she said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”
Joke Poo: The Hamster Cache
A seasoned wizard and his apprentice had worked together in their tower for decades. They shared spellbooks, ingredients, and arcane secrets. The only exception was a locked chest in the apprentice’s chamber, which he forbade the wizard from ever opening or even inquiring about.
For years, the wizard respected his apprentice’s privacy. But one day, the apprentice fell gravely ill. As the wizard prepared potions to ease his suffering, he noticed the chest. Curiosity, fueled by the fear of losing his friend, overwhelmed him. He magically unlocked the chest and peered inside.
He found it filled with hundreds of tiny, meticulously carved wooden hamsters and a massive pile of gold, enough to buy a small kingdom.
When the apprentice regained consciousness, the wizard, fighting back tears, showed him the contents. “What does all this mean?” he asked, his voice choked with emotion.
The apprentice croaked, “Master, years ago, when I was a mere novice, my own master taught me a powerful lesson: whenever I felt frustrated or made a mistake during spellcasting, instead of getting angry, I should carve a tiny wooden hamster to channel my negative energy.”
The wizard was deeply touched. “So, all these hamsters represent every mistake, every frustration you’ve endured in silence, protecting the tower from my gruffness?” He wiped away a tear. “But… the gold? Where did that come from?”
The apprentice smiled weakly. “Oh, that? I enchanted each hamster with a minor luck spell and sold them to gamblers.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then spice it up with some comedic enrichment.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A long-married couple, the classic trope of a hidden secret, and the impending death trope to heighten the drama.
- Core Elements:
- The Shoe Box: Symbol of hidden secrets, specifically those kept from a spouse.
- Crocheted Dolls: Used as a coping mechanism to avoid arguments. Represents anger management and a commitment to a “happy marriage” according to old traditions.
- $95,000: The unexpected punchline element, revealing the hidden industriousness and financial savvy of the wife.
- The Irony: The presumed sweetness of the anger management method is undermined by the financial gain, turning the sentimental moment into a comedic one.
- Punchline: The seemingly innocent dolls were, in fact, a source of considerable income.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the crocheting aspect and the financial angle.
New Joke Idea:
An efficiency expert is called in to audit a nunnery. After a week, she presents her findings: “Sisters, your productivity is remarkable! Your prayers are generating an unbelievable amount of divine intervention. However,” she pauses, “your crochet division is losing money hand over fist. The yarn cost alone… it’s unsustainable. What are you making with all that yarn?” The Mother Superior smiles sweetly, “Just little voodoo dolls of all the politicians blocking our funding. They’re surprisingly popular on Etsy.”
Explanation of Enrichment:
- Builds on the Crocheting: The crocheting is still a key activity, but given a darkly humorous twist (voodoo dolls).
- Financial Angle: The financial aspect is heightened, not through personal wealth, but through a very specific and slightly subversive fundraising.
- Irony: Religious figures engage in an unexpected activity for financial gain, and the supposed moral high ground is undermined.
- Relevant Tidbit: While I am being funny here, crafting and selling (especially on platforms like Etsy) has indeed become a vital income source for many people, particularly seniors or those in precarious financial situations. There are entire communities dedicated to crafts that support themselves. So, in a way, the original joke isn’t that far-fetched.
Alternatively, here’s a witty observation:
“It’s funny how the secret to a long marriage can be interpreted in so many ways. In this case, it wasn’t just about suppressing anger, but also about suppressed capitalism! Turns out, the real secret to a happy marriage is having a side hustle your spouse knows nothing about.”
I think this enhances the original joke by adding another layer of humor.