The man rolls his window down as the cop approaches, who says, "Sir, any reason you're driving so fast?"
"Well," the guy says, "I've recently decided to try beekeeping, and I need to get the bees in my trunk home A.S.A.P."
The officer squints. "You have bees in your trunk?"
"I'm still new to bee keeping, sir. I didn't know where else to put them," he says.
In disbelief, the cop says, "You're lying. Pop the trunk."
"Do I have to?" the guy asks.
"Do it or I'm writing you up for reckless driving and obstruction," the officer says.
So the man pops the trunk.
A thick cloud of angry wasps explodes out. The cop makes a break for it as they swarm him, and as he flees he cries, "You said you had bees!"
And the guy leans out his window and goes, "Those aren't bees!?"
Joke Poo: The Birdhouse Surprise
A woman is meticulously crafting a birdhouse in her garage, humming to herself, when her husband wanders in.
“Whatcha working on, honey?” he asks.
“Oh, just a little project,” she replies, carefully gluing tiny shingles onto the roof. “I’m trying to attract some hummingbirds to the garden this year.”
The husband beams. “That’s wonderful! Hummingbirds are so beautiful. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Of course!” she says, a bit defensively. “I’ve read all about it. Special feeders, the right kind of flowers… It’s all about creating the perfect habitat.”
He nods approvingly. “Well, I trust you. But… you know, sometimes things don’t go as planned. Like that time you tried to bake a cake and it came out looking like a meteorite?”
She shoots him a playful glare. “This is different. I know exactly what I’m doing. I even researched the perfect size opening to keep out larger birds.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Oh really? What size did you decide on?”
She holds up the birdhouse, proudly displaying the tiny entrance. “Just big enough for hummingbirds to squeeze through, but too small for anything else!”
The husband squints at the hole, a look of dawning horror spreading across his face. “Honey… are you absolutely, positively sure that’s big enough for a hummingbird?”
“Yes! Why do you ask?”
Suddenly, a swarm of tiny, enraged flies erupts from the birdhouse, buzzing furiously. The husband recoils in disgust, swatting wildly.
“Flies? Honey, what the heck?”
The woman stares in stunned silence, then shrugs. “Flies aren’t Hummingbirds?”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then spin off something new.
Joke Analysis:
- Core Elements:
- Premise: A driver speeding gets pulled over and claims to be transporting bees.
- Misdirection: The listener (and the cop) is led to believe the driver is ignorant about beekeeping and the potential danger of transporting bees improperly.
- Punchline: The driver deliberately misled the cop; they were wasps all along, and he feigns ignorance, allowing him to escape the speeding ticket.
- Humor Source: Surprise, schadenfreude (enjoyment of the cop’s misfortune), and the driver’s audacity. There’s also the subtle absurdism of someone thinking it’s acceptable to transport bees (or wasps) in their trunk.
Factual/Interesting Tidbits to Leverage:
- Bees vs. Wasps: While both are stinging insects, they’re quite different. Bees are generally docile unless provoked and collect pollen to make honey. Wasps are predators and scavengers, often more aggressive, and are known to sting repeatedly.
- Bee Stings: Bee stings are acidic, while wasp stings are alkaline. (this is a classic, but outdated fact, they’re venom is more complex!)
- Beekeeping: Beekeepers use smokers to calm bees, which disrupts their communication and makes them less likely to sting.
- Wasp Nests: Wasp nests are often found in hidden locations, and disturbing them can lead to aggressive attacks.
New Humor – Joke Variation:
A woman is pulled over for speeding. The police officer approaches the car and says, “Ma’am, do you know why I pulled you over?”
The woman replies nervously, “Officer, I just robbed a bank! I’m trying to get away.”
The officer, surprised, says, “What? Open the trunk!”
The woman reluctantly opens the trunk, revealing rows and rows of meticulously kept beehives.
The officer is dumbfounded. “Bees? You robbed a bank and you’re driving with…bees?”
“Well, you see officer,” she explained “the money is honey scented, and they follow the scent.”
The officer, bewildered, says, “But what if they sting you?”
The woman smiles. “Don’t worry, I’ve been practicing hive mind control.”