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A man walks into a bar and exclaims, “I think all lawyers are a$sholes!”

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

Someone from the other end of the bar shouts, "Hey! I resent that!"

"Why? Are you a lawyer?"

"No! I'm an a$shole!"

Joke Poo: The Compost Heap

A farmer walks into a garden center and declares, “I think all compost heaps are just piles of garbage!”

From behind a towering display of organic fertilizers, a voice booms, “Oi! I take offense to that!”

“Why? Are you a compost heap?” asks the farmer, surprised.

“No,” comes the reply, “I sell the stuff!”

Alright, let’s get this joke under the comedic microscope!

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: A man makes a sweeping generalization about lawyers.
  • Setup: Someone takes offense to the statement.
  • Punchline: The offended party’s self-identification subverts the expectation that they are a lawyer, confirming the generalization in an unexpected (and crude) way. The humor arises from the misdirection and the abrupt, blunt admission.
  • Target: Lawyers (in a slightly harsh way), and those who make broad generalizations.
  • Type: Self-deprecating (in a twisted way, for the “asshole”), insult humor, surprise/twist punchline.

Key Elements & Enrichment Opportunities:

  1. Lawyers: This is the main target. We can dig into legal trivia, history, or stereotypes for humor.
  2. Generalizations: The joke highlights the absurdity of sweeping statements.
  3. The Word “Asshole”: The vulgarity adds a level of shock and bluntness. We can riff on euphemisms or scientific terms for this concept.

New Humor – Did You Know?:

Did you know that the term “barrister,” a type of lawyer in many Commonwealth countries, comes from the barrier that used to separate the legal professionals from the general public in courtrooms? It’s like the original gated community for people who can argue about the legal definition of “asshole” for hours! I wonder if they ever had to shout, “Hey! I resent that” from behind the barrier? Probably not, they probably had a well written brief stating that.

New Joke (playing on the generalization):

A statistician walks into a bar. He orders a beer and surveys the other patrons. “On average,” he announces loudly, “everyone in this bar is 50% Irish!”

A man at the other end of the bar slams his fist on the table and shouts, “That’s outrageous! I resent that!”

The statistician calmly adjusts his glasses. “Okay, on average, everyone in this bar is now 48% Irish.”

New Joke (playing on the word “Asshole”):

A biologist is giving a presentation on the diversity of the animal kingdom. He shows a slide of a particularly grumpy-looking baboon.

“This,” he says, “is the Papio ursinus, commonly known as the Chacma Baboon. They are fascinating creatures, known for their complex social structures and… well, let’s just say they have a very expressive… rear end.”

Someone in the audience raises their hand. “Excuse me, professor, are you trying to say it’s an asshole?”

The biologist smiles. “I try to use more scientific language, but… yes. However, the important thing is that the baboons have a wide range of communicative tools”

“So it is an asshole?”

“Well I have to ask, why do you ask?”

“I have always felt as if my work was very similar”

Hopefully, those examples demonstrate how we can break down a joke and then use related information to build new comedic pieces. The key is to find the core elements and then look for angles that are either surprising, ironic, or absurd.

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