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A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars".

The man replies, "Who said anything about money?"

A lawyer sitting nearby says to the bartender, “Pardon me, but he’s right. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract, there was no stipulation of remuneration."

The bartender says to the fellow, “All right smart guy, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever set foot in here again!"

The man leaves, but ten minutes later he comes strolling back in, and asks for a whiskey.

The bartender's face turns red. He shouts, “I thought I told you never to come here again!"

"This is my first time here," says the man. "You must be thinking of someone else".

The bartender shakes his head and says, "It’s uncanny. You must have a double!"

"Don’t mind if I do", says he, "and one for my lawyer, too!"

Joke Poo: The AI Art Commission

An artist walks into an online art commission forum and posts: “Offering stunning landscape paintings! $5 per piece!”

A potential client chimes in: “I’ll take one!”

The artist delivers a beautiful landscape painting. The client receives it and doesn’t pay. The artist then inquires “That’ll be $5.”

The client replies, “Who said anything about money?”

An AI art bot sitting nearby, its algorithms whirring, posts: “Technically, he’s correct. The initial offer lacked a clear expectation of monetary compensation.”

The artist, exasperated, types to the client, “Fine, you win this time. But I’m blocking you!”

The client leaves the forum, but ten minutes later, they re-enter with a fresh username and post, “Looking for a landscape painting!”

The artist, recognizing the style, shouts, “I told you never to contact me again!”

“This is my first time here,” says the client. “You must be thinking of someone else.”

The artist shakes their head and types, “It’s uncanny. You must have an alternate account!”

“Don’t mind if I do!” types the client, “And one for my AI Lawyer too!”

Alright, let’s break down this legal-themed bar joke:

Key Elements:

  • Setup: Man walks into a bar, standard joke opener. Establishes expectations of a typical transaction.
  • Twist 1 (Contract Law): The lawyer’s intervention based on contract law is the first surprise. It disrupts the implied agreement in a funny way.
  • Escalation: The bartender begrudgingly accepts the lawyer’s argument, highlighting the absurdity of a legal technicality winning over common sense.
  • Twist 2 (Doppelganger): The return of the man and the “double” excuse is the core of the joke’s absurdity and wordplay.
  • Punchline: The punchline “Don’t mind if I do, and one for my lawyer, too!” combines the free drink, the lawyer, and the double joke.

The Humor Source: The humor derives from the collision of the mundane (a bar drink) with the formal (contract law) and the ridiculous (a sudden case of mistaken identity). It’s also a play on stereotypes: greedy lawyers and bartenders who value their own rules over the law.

Comedic Enrichment – New Material:

Joke 1: Did You Know?

Did you know the term “double” in bartending not only refers to twice the amount of alcohol, but also carries a potential legal loophole? Apparently, claiming you have a “double” gets you out of bar tabs and trespassing violations, making it the preferred legal defense of cheapskates everywhere. However, this strategy can lead to more legal troubles if your actual double sues for identity theft and defamation of character. They’ll probably need a drink.

Joke 2: The Lawyer’s Dilemma

A lawyer walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you?”
The lawyer replies, “I’ll take a whiskey. And make sure it’s ‘consideration,’ not a gift. My malpractice insurance doesn’t cover free drinks.”

Joke 3: The Bartender’s Revenge

A bartender, tired of legal loopholes, creates “The Lawyer Special”: a drink that’s technically free but comes with a 47-page terms and conditions document, requires a signed waiver against future bar-related injuries, and only allows you to consume it using a straw made from recycled tax forms. “Enjoy,” he says with a wicked grin, “it’s ‘legally’ on the house.”

Joke 4: The Doppelganger’s Lament

I’m a doppelganger. It’s a tough life. Everywhere I go, I get the blame for the stuff he did. I just wanted a quiet drink in this bar. I swear I have never been here before! “Hey, are you going to pay for that double?!” Why me?

Why these are funny (hopefully!):

  • Joke 1 plays on the absurdity of the doppelganger excuse and mocks the original joke.
  • Joke 2 emphasizes the lawyer stereotype of being overly concerned with legalities and uses a bit of legal jargon.
  • Joke 3 builds on the “contract law” theme by exaggerating it, showcasing the bartender’s over-the-top (and funny) response.
  • Joke 4 puts the listener in the shoes of the doppelganger and adds a sad twist.

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