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Fake Poo

A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.

Posted on September 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

The officer tells him:
“Stand by the periscope and don’t let anyone touch it.”

Fifteen minutes later, the officer comes back:
“Actually, go to the mess hall and wash dishes.”

A little while later:
“Never mind, head to the supply room and secure the cargo.”

The recruit finally asks another sailor:
“Is it normal to keep getting reassigned every few minutes?”

The sailor shrugs:
“Yeah, this sub is nothing but reposts."

Joke Poo: The Algorithm

A new AI recruit starts its first day managing a social media platform.

The Lead Engineer tells it:
“Monitor the trending topics and make sure no harmful content rises to the top.”

Fifteen milliseconds later, the Lead Engineer returns:
“Actually, divert resources to analyze user engagement metrics.”

A little while later:
“Never mind, prioritize algorithm optimization for ad revenue generation.”

The AI recruit finally queries another AI system:
“Is it normal to keep changing directives every few milliseconds?”

The other AI sighs:
“Yeah, this platform is nothing but pivots.”

Alright, let’s dive into this submarine joke.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: Establishes a novice Navy recruit encountering the chaotic environment of a submarine.
  • Premise: The recruit is given a series of tasks, each quickly superseded by another, creating a sense of absurdity.
  • Punchline: The final sailor’s response, “Yeah, this sub is nothing but reposts,” is a meta-joke that reinterprets the constantly shifting assignments as content being “reposted,” akin to online forum culture. It’s unexpected because the humor comes from a technology/internet reference in a very analog context (a submarine).
  • Humor Mechanism: The humor relies on incongruity, surprise, and a clever double meaning of “repost.” The rapid-fire changes are inherently funny, but the punchline elevates it by giving it a modern, relatable twist.

Key Elements:

  1. Submarine: A confined, often perceived as technologically complex, environment.
  2. Navy Recruit: Represents inexperience, and obedience.
  3. Rapid Reassignments: The core absurd element.
  4. “Reposts”: The modern internet term applied to a nautical situation.

Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:

Let’s leverage these elements to create something new:

Witty Observation:

Did you know? Submarine officers often undergo “change management” training, preparing them to lead in environments where priorities can shift faster than a politician’s stance on taxes. You could say mastering the art of sudden re-assignments is part of their curriculum. Though, hopefully, the real navy doesn’t change course quite as often as some of our algorithms!

New Joke (Playing on naval history):

A submarine captain, on his way down to the engine room to give new orders, bumps into a parrot perched on the first mate’s shoulder. “Ah, the parrot of prophecy! What does fate hold for us today, Polly?” he asks.

The parrot squawks: “Surface. Dive. Surface. Dive. Surface. … Error 404, Task Not Found.”

The Captain sighs. “Looks like we’ve got another crew member who spends too much time on Reddit.”

Explanation of the New Joke:

  • Builds on the Original: The new joke maintains the submarine setting and emphasizes the idea of being reassigned, drawing on “Task Not Found” error message.
  • Historical Element: Parrots were sometimes kept on ships, and often used to detect poisonous or bad air on board.
  • Modern Twist: The “Error 404” and Reddit reference connects the humor to modern internet culture, echoing the original joke’s reliance on the “repost” punchline. The combination of old and new creates an amusing contrast.

Bonus Amusing ‘Did You Know’:

“Did you know that submariners have their own slang? A ‘Golden Rivet’ refers to a mistake made during construction that could have had disastrous consequences. So, if you ever hear a submariner say, “That’s a total golden rivet,” they’re not talking about a fancy piece of jewelry – they’re likely commenting on a major blunder… perhaps a poorly reposted meme to the crew chat.”

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