He greets the priest and said, "Father, I need to talk to you."
"Is it a confession, my son?" asked the priest.
"No, Father." the man replied, "I need to clarify something."
The Priest takes the man to his private chamber.
"Tell me, my son. What is it?"
"Father, why do some women try to change men after marriage? My friends keep teasing me about it."
Smiling, the Priest replied, "My son, as the bride walks down the long aisle, she excitedly registers 3 stimuli: the altar, the choir and the sound of the hymn being sung. Aisle, Altar, and Hymn. She becomes mesmerized. Aisle, Altar, Hymn. Aisle, Altar, hymn. Aisle, Altar, Hymn. Finally, as she stops beside the groom, she is already saying to herself: 'I'LL ALTER HIM.'"
Joke Poo: The Carpenter’s Conundrum
A newly graduated carpenter goes to meet his old mentor at the local lumberyard.
He greets the mentor and said, "Master, I need to talk to you."
"Is it a project proposal, my son?" asked the mentor.
"No, Master," the carpenter replied, "I need to understand something."
The mentor takes the carpenter to his private workshop.
"Tell me, my son. What troubles you?"
"Master, why do some architects insist on changes to designs after construction begins? My clients keep complaining about it."
Smiling, the Mentor replied, "My son, as the architect reviews the initial blueprint, he excitedly notes three key elements: the lumber, the brick, and the layout he has drawn. He becomes mesmerized by lumber, brick, and layout. Lumber, brick, and layout. Lumber, brick, and layout. Finally, as the first wall goes up, he’s already thinking to himself: ‘I’LL ALTER IT!‘"
Okay, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic gold we can mine from it.
Joke Dissection:
- Core Concept: The humor revolves around the common (and often joked about) idea that wives try to change their husbands after marriage.
- Setup: A newly married man seeks advice from a priest, framing the topic as a genuine question about women’s behavior. This creates an expectation of a serious, possibly theological, answer.
- Punchline: The priest delivers a pun-based explanation, cleverly linking "aisle, altar, hymn" with "I’ll alter him." The unexpected pun subverts the initial expectation and provides a humorous, albeit cynical, explanation.
- Key Elements: Marriage, male-female relationship dynamics, religion (priest, church), puns, and the stereotypical "nagging wife" trope.
Comedic Enrichment:
Here’s a new joke/observation building on the original, incorporating related facts and a twist:
Title: The Real Vows
New Joke:
A man nervously approaches a divorce lawyer, looking utterly defeated. "It’s my wife," he sighs. "Ever since we got married, she’s been trying to change me. And she’s winning."
The lawyer raises an eyebrow sympathetically. "I understand. It’s a common complaint. Did you review your marriage vows before the wedding?"
The man frowned, "Well sure… We said we’d love, honor and cherish each other. You know, the usual.
The lawyer leaned forward, "Ah, but did you read the fine print? It was only introduced a decade ago. The part that states: ‘Love, honour, cherish… and systematically upgrade to meet evolving standards of home décor, personal hygiene, and acceptable social behavior. Subject to firmware updates at any time.’"
The man, looking horrified, whispered: "There was a ‘terms and conditions’ section?!"
The lawyer nodded somberly. "Sadly, yes. The most modern marriage vows come with a software license agreement now."
Analysis of New Joke:
- Builds on the Original: The joke maintains the theme of wives changing their husbands but shifts the focus from a simple "alter" to a more systematic and almost contractual process.
- Modern Twist: It incorporates modern elements like software updates, terms and conditions, and "firmware updates," satirizing the overly legalistic and technology-driven aspects of modern life.
- Satire and Absurdity: The idea of a "marriage software license agreement" and "evolving standards of home décor" is absurd and highlights the unrealistic expectations that can be placed on marriage.
Factual/Interesting Tidbit:
Did you know that the content of traditional marriage vows vary somewhat across different Christian denominations and cultural traditions? The specific wording around "love, honor, and obey" (which is often omitted from modern vows) has been a point of debate, reflecting evolving societal views on gender roles and equality within marriage. Modern and secular vows also focus a lot more on partnership and commitment. So maybe a "systematic upgrade" is simply more explicitly stated than it used to be!