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A pirate goes to the doctor and asks for the moles on his back to be checked

Posted on September 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor says “they’re benign”.
The prate says “check again matey, there be ten”

Happy talk like a pirate day you scallywags.

Joke Poo: The Astronaut’s Alibi

An astronaut is being questioned by mission control after a bizarre incident in the space station. He insists he’s been nowhere near the hydroponics bay.

Mission control replies, “But we found soil on your boots.”

The astronaut shouts back, “Check again, Lieutenant, there be planets!”

Alright, let’s hoist the colors and analyze this pirate joke!

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: A pirate visits a doctor to have moles checked. This establishes a common scenario and the pirate character, setting the stage for a pun.
  • Punchline: The doctor says “they’re benign,” which is then humorously misinterpreted by the pirate as “there be ten” because the word “benign” sounds like “be nine” when spoken with a pirate accent.
  • Key Elements:
    • Pirate stereotype (accent, “matey,” “be”)
    • Medical context (doctor’s visit, moles, benign)
    • Phonetic Pun (“benign” vs. “be nine/ten”)

Comedic Enrichment:

Now, let’s use some interesting tidbits about these elements to create a new joke/observation.

Factoid: Pirates and Medical Knowledge: Surprisingly, pirates weren’t always completely ignorant of medicine. In fact, they often had skilled surgeons onboard their ships! Pirate ships often had worse conditions that navy vessels for disease to spread in. Pirate surgeons were more likely to treat wounds that may kill a soldier than naval surgeons, as they lacked the strict medical codes.

New Joke/Observation:

Why did the pirate apply to medical school? He heard that learning about the benign and malignant tumors was a good way to become a be nine – be ten specialist…and get a leg up on the competition! After all, no other job offers this many amputations.

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