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A politician dies and get to choose between heaven and hell

Posted on August 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Politician dies and is given the choice between going to Heaven or Hell, but first he is given a tour of both places.

The tour of Heaven goes as expected, it's all vibrant, sunny, peaceful with charming harp music playing. There are people dressed in white robes walking around, everyone appears happy and peacefully. But honestly seems a little boring.

Then the politician gets a tour of Hell and it's not at all what he expected.

In hell he is shown all of his favorite things: beautiful golf courses, free everything, infinite booze, all his old friends, parting, drugs, prostitutes. The politician can't believe it, it's like all of his epic night outs combined and stretched out to infinity.

When it's time to make his choice, rather surprisingly the politician chooses Heaven.

The devil, completely shocked by this choice asks him "Well why did you chose Heaven after I showed you how incredibly Hell would be for you"

The politician then replies "I know false promises in a campaign when I see them"

Joke Poo: The Tech Startup

Title: Seed Round in the Afterlife

A tech entrepreneur dies and gets to choose between the angel round in Heaven and the Series A in Hell, but first they are given a pitch meeting for both.

The presentation for the Heaven round is what you’d expect: endless organic kale smoothies, collaborative coding on ethical AI, and a truly balanced work-life scenario (eternal rest being a key perk). The ROI promises are modest but guaranteed: inner peace and maybe a slight uptick in global karma. Frankly, it seems a bit slow-growth.

Then the entrepreneur sees the Hell pitch deck, and it’s insane.

Hell promises unlimited ping pong tables, artisanal coffee on tap, every imaginable gadget and prototype, and a team of immortal rockstar developers who never sleep (or shower). The founder is partying non-stop, launching new disruptive apps every day, and raking in the damned souls (they’re the new data points) with zero regulatory oversight.

When it’s time to choose, the entrepreneur chooses Heaven, shocking the devil.

“Why, after seeing the explosive growth potential of Hell, did you choose the peaceful stagnation of Heaven?” the devil asks, incredulous.

The entrepreneur sighs. “I’ve been burned by venture capital promises before. That ‘Hell’ pitch deck is all vaporware, no actual product. And the burn-out rate on those immortal developers has to be astronomical.”

Okay, let’s dissect this joke and see what comedic fuel we can extract.

Joke Analysis:

  • Core Concept: The humor hinges on the unexpected depiction of Hell as appealing to a politician and then subverting expectations by having the politician recognize it as a false promise.
  • Key Elements:
    • Politician Stereotype: Corruptible, enjoys excess, values appearances (golf, booze, partying).
    • Heaven vs. Hell Juxtaposition: Traditional boring Heaven vs. surprisingly fun Hell.
    • Irony: The politician’s political savvy (detecting false promises) saves him, even though it’s the root of the stereotype applied to him.
    • Surprise: The politician chooses Heaven after seeing the “better” option.

Let’s build from this with some factual/interesting tidbits:

Interesting Fact: The popular image of Hell with fire and brimstone is largely based on Dante Alighieri’s Inferno, not necessarily religious doctrine.

Comedic Enrichment: New Joke

A politician finally makes it to Hell, just like he always wanted, but complains to the Devil, “This isn’t what you promised! The golf courses are overgrown, the booze is watered down, and everyone just wants to complain about how bad things are.”

The Devil sighs and says, “Welcome to post-election Hell. Now get to work fixing it.”

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