A crab and a prawn have fallen madly in love, but when the prawn tells her father this he goes mental
"No way a daughter of mine is getting together with a crab, ridiculous creatures..can't even walk straight! No, you're to go and tell this crab that it's all off."
So the prawn goes and finds the crab and tearfully tells him they can't be together. This causes the crab to get angry and announce that he'll be down to the prawn's rock later that evening to have it out with the prawn's dad.
Later that night, the prawn is waiting nervously for the crab to show up. Finally he does and walks a perfectly straight line up to the prawns father.
"Oh Crab, you're wonderful, walking in a straight line…"the prawn cries as she rushes to his side. The crab turns and whispers
"Sssh, I'm pissed!"
- David Niven
Joke Poo: The Caterpillar’s Crawl
Two caterpillars, Colin and Cecil, were deeply in love, but when Cecil revealed this to his father, Bartholomew, the old caterpillar went ballistic.
“Absolutely not! A son of mine with a Colin?! They’re practically weeds! They just crawl everywhere and nibble on everything! You go tell that Colin it’s over!”
Heartbroken, Cecil found Colin and delivered the devastating news. Colin, enraged, vowed to Bartholomew’s leaf later that evening to settle things, promising a serious “leaf-turning conversation”.
Later that night, Cecil nervously awaited Colin. Finally, he saw Colin approaching. He was… flying, soaring in a graceful, straight line towards Bartholomew’s leaf.
“Oh, Colin! You’re magnificent! Flying in a straight line!” Cecil cried, overjoyed. Colin landed beside him, looked at Cecil, and whispered, “Shhh, I went through my metamorphosis!”
Alright, let’s break down this prawn joke like a discarded shell at a seafood buffet.
Core Elements of the Joke:
- Premise: A forbidden love between a prawn and a crab, opposed by the prawn’s prejudiced father.
- Humor Source: Situational irony + wordplay (pissed = angry and drunk). The crab overcoming his “natural” sideways walk is unexpected, and the reason is humorous and relatable (being drunk). The father is only accepting due to the walking in a straight line.
- Prejudice/Stereotype: The initial prejudice is based on the crab’s sideways walk, a common observation.
- Twist/Punchline: The crab isn’t reformed; he’s just inebriated. This subverts the expectation of a heartwarming resolution.
Interesting Tidbits to Enhance the Humor:
- Crab Walking Facts: Crabs walk sideways because their joints primarily move in a horizontal plane. Some crabs can walk forward, but it’s less efficient. The sideways gait is faster for them. There are over 7,000 different types of crab.
- Prawn/Shrimp Distinction: While often used interchangeably, prawns and shrimp are different. Prawns have longer legs and claws compared to shrimp, and their bodies are more elongated. Prawns also have branching gills, while shrimp have plate-like gills. This opens a possibility of jokes about mistaken identity or species snobbery.
- Alcohol & Crustaceans: Research has been done on the effects of pollutants, including alcohol, on aquatic organisms. Alcohol can affect the nervous system of crustaceans.
- Crab Love: Male crabs perform elaborate courtship rituals, including waving their claws and releasing pheromones, to attract a mate. It is not known whether the prawn was courted by the crab.
New Humorous Piece:
Did you know…
The reason you never see crabs at AA meetings isn’t just their lack of thumbs for holding coffee. It’s the potential for mixed messages. Imagine a crab, earnestly claiming, “I’ve been sideways my whole life! I’m ready to walk the straight and narrow!” Then he promptly scuttles off at a 45-degree angle. It’s just bad optics. And don’t even get me started on the potential for relapse when he finds himself in a bucket of Old Bay seasoning. That’s just enabling!
OR
A marine biologist, researching crustacean behavior after prolonged exposure to diluted rum, declared, “The crabs are acting completely normal, except they’re now attempting synchronized sideways salsa dancing. And one keeps trying to trade me his shell for a tiny umbrella.”
OR
Joke
Why did the prawn break up with the crab?
Because she found out his “straight walking” wasn’t a sign of commitment, just a sign he’d been hanging out at the bottom of the reef with the sea cucumbers a little too much.