A Priest was raging to his deacon that his bike was stolen. “They took it from right outside the church” he complained. “I’ve been a Priest for 25 years and I’ve never heard of such a thing”. The deacon tells him to go through the commandments for Sunday Mass and when you get to the part about “Thou shalt not steal” lay it on thick and observe the congregation, and look for someone consumed with guilt.
Sunday comes and the Priest goes through the 10 commandments. Afterward the deacon asks if he had spotted anyone acting strange.
The Priest replied, “never mind, when I got to Thou shalt not commit adultery, I remembered where I had left it”!
Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the priest and bicycle joke, titled “The Missing Mascot”:
Joke Poo: The Missing Mascot
A football coach was furious. Their team’s prized mascot, a giant inflatable badger named “Bernie,” had vanished the night before the big game. He was ranting to his assistant coach, “They swiped Bernie right from the practice field! I’ve been coaching here for twenty years, and I’ve never seen anything like it!”
The assistant suggested, “During the pep rally tonight, go through the team’s core values. When you get to the part about ‘Respect,’ really emphasize how much we value each other’s property and contributions. Watch the players closely; you’ll see who’s eaten up with guilt.”
That evening, the coach addressed the team, outlining their key principles of teamwork and fair play. Afterward, the assistant coach asked if he’d noticed anyone looking shifty.
The coach replied, “Forget about it. When I got to ‘Aggression,’ I remembered we lent it to the opposing team to practice tackling.”
Alright, let’s dive into this priestly peccadillo and see what comedic gold we can extract!
Joke Analysis:
- Core Idea: The humor hinges on the irony of a priest, focused on the theft of his bicycle, forgetting that he himself might be committing a different sin: adultery.
- Setup: The setup establishes the priest’s righteous anger and the deacon’s clever, if somewhat cynical, plan to identify the thief.
- Punchline: The punchline subverts expectations. Instead of catching the thief, the priest realizes his own transgression, creating a moment of unexpected self-awareness (and implied infidelity).
- Key Elements:
- Religion/Priest: Used as a symbol of moral authority.
- Ten Commandments: Foundation of moral law.
- Theft: A common, secular crime.
- Adultery: A more “serious” (and often considered more titillating) sin.
- Irony/Hypocrisy: The central driving force of the joke.
Comedic Enrichment – “Did You Know?” Variation
Did you know: A study by the Kinsey Institute suggested that clergy, while perceived as having a lower rate of extramarital affairs, actually report similar rates to the general population. However, unlike the priest in the joke, they are less likely to misplace the evidence. Apparently, their parking skills are better. Which begs the question, is it a sin to misplace your bike, or just a really bad case of forgetfulness? Asking for a friend… who may or may not be wearing a collar.
Explanation of Changes:
- “Did You Know” Hook: Catches attention and suggests a factual, educational (but ultimately humorous) statement.
- Statistical Twist: The Kinsey Institute factoid adds a layer of mock-seriousness and mildly scandalous humor.
- Playful Contrast: I draw a distinction between the priest in the joke misplacing his bike versus clergy members and the ‘evidence’.
- Ending Note: The last lines bring it back to the original joke and adds a hint of ambiguity that invites the audience to consider the nature of sin, memory, and perhaps even forgiveness.