A Proctologist Goes To The Grocery

Joke Poo: The Veterinarian at the Pet Store

A veterinarian is browsing the aisles of a busy pet store, carefully examining bags of dog food. Suddenly, a booming male voice rings out, “Well, hello there, Dr. Higgins!”

Dr. Higgins blushes, caught completely off guard. He searches his memory bank frantically, utterly failing to place the voice or the face approaching him. He mumbles awkwardly, trying to buy time, clearly drawing a blank.

The man chuckles, then promptly drops to all fours, raises his leg, and pretends to pee on a nearby display of chew toys.

“Ah! Good to see you, Mr. Fluffernutter! How’s the prostate these days?”

Alright, let’s get to the bottom of this joke! (Pun intended, naturally).

Joke Dissection:

• Setup: A proctologist encounters a familiar woman in a grocery store. The incongruity of the professional setting being swapped for a mundane one is the first seed of humor.
• Problem: The proctologist can’t recall the woman’s identity, creating social awkwardness.
• Punchline: The woman resorts to an extreme gesture (mooning) to jog his memory, and the proctologist identifies her based on that presentation. The humor stems from the absurdity of recognizing someone solely by their… posterior, and the reversal of roles: the patient usually disrobes for the doctor, not the other way around in a public space.
• Key Elements:
  • Proctologist/Medical Profession
  • Grocery Store/Public Setting
  • Recognition/Memory
  • Mooning/Indecent Exposure/Body Part Recognition
  • Social Awkwardness/Professional Boundaries

Comedic Enrichment:

Now, let’s leverage some interesting facts and observations related to these elements to craft some new humor:

Approach 1: Playing with the “Body Part Recognition” Angle

• Observation: Humans are remarkably good at recognizing faces. However, studies show that we also use subtle cues like gait, posture, and even body shape to identify people from a distance. Mrs. Smith just cut out the middle-man and went straight for the key identifying feature… as it were.
• New Joke: Why did the forensic artist fail at reconstructing the suspect’s face from the witness description? Because the witness only saw him running away… and apparently, their gluteus maximus memory wasn’t as reliable as they thought.

Approach 2: Medical Profession/Grocery Store Combo

• Fact: There’s a growing movement in preventative medicine emphasizing the importance of diet. Doctors are increasingly asking patients about their eating habits.
• New Joke: A cardiologist walks into a grocery store and sees a patient filling their cart with processed meats and sugary drinks. The doctor sighs, “Mrs. Johnson, I told you to cut back on the sodium and cholesterol!” Mrs. Johnson replies, “Doctor, I pay you to diagnose my heart, not judge my shopping cart! If I wanted nutritional advice, I’d consult a celeriologist!”

Approach 3: Elevating the Original Joke with a Witty Twist:

• Enhancement: Instead of simply saying “Oh! Good afternoon, Mrs. Smith!” have him say:
  “Oh! Good afternoon, Mrs. Smith! I must say, your presentation skills have improved significantly since my last examination. You really nailed the… posterior angle.”

Approach 4: A “Did You Know?” Ponderance:

• Did you know? In some ancient cultures, certain body parts were considered sacred or symbolic. Imagine if identifying people by their, ahem, derriere, was a socially acceptable (and even revered) practice! “Ah, yes, that’s Bartholomew, of the Shapely Spheres tribe. Distinguished glutes, those.”

The underlying humor in all of these options hinges on the incongruity, the unexpected, and the slightly uncomfortable. We’ve taken the original joke’s elements and, through the lens of factual knowledge or clever observations, created new comedic avenues. The key is to maintain that sense of surprise and slightly askew perspective. And, of course, know your audience and gauge how receptive they are to “rear”-related humor!