when he called the young female bartender back and said: “Miss, right now ah really could do with a piece of ass.”
“Hell, the most direct proposition I’ve ever had!” she exclaimed.
Then she smiled and added: “Sure, why not? It’s pretty slow here just now. There’s a room we can use upstairs.”
When the pair returned half an hour later, the redneck sat down at the same table and the girl asked cheekily: “Will there be anything else?”
“Sure,” replied the redneck. “Where ah come from in Arkansas, we like our bourbon in water cold, so ah still need a piece of ass for mah drink.”
Joke Poo: The Tech Support Request
A programmer had just finished a particularly brutal debugging session when he called the tech support representative back and said: “Listen, I really need a piece of documentation for this legacy code.”
“Wow,” exclaimed the rep, “that’s the most straightforward request for documentation I’ve ever had!”
Then she sighed and added: “Sure, why not? It’s Friday afternoon, things are quiet. There’s a repository we can access.”
When the programmer returned an hour later, looking even more stressed, the rep asked, “Well? Did you find what you needed?”
“Nope,” replied the programmer. “Where I come from in Silicon Valley, we like our REST APIs well documented, so I still need a piece of documentation on the piece of documentation.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke.
Core Elements:
- Setup: Redneck in a Vegas cocktail lounge making a crass initial request.
- Misunderstanding: Bartender interprets “piece of ass” as a sexual proposition.
- Twist: Redneck intended “piece of ass” (ice) to cool his bourbon.
- Humor: Relies on the double entendre, contrasting the bartender’s assumption with the redneck’s innocent (if somewhat uncouth) intention and Redneck stereotype.
Factual & Interesting Tidbits to Play With:
- Bourbon & Ice: Traditional bourbon purists sometimes frown upon ice, arguing it dilutes the flavor. However, in hotter climates, or with specific bourbon styles, a little water (or ice) can “open up” the spirit, releasing more aromas. The “piece of ass” might actually be considered a skillful technique by a seasoned bourbon drinker.
- Redneck Stereotypes: The stereotype of a redneck often includes a lack of sophistication, a simple lifestyle, and a straightforward manner of speaking. Arkansas, where the redneck is supposed to be from, has a rich history and culture, but unfortunately does contribute a lot to the “hillbilly” stereotype.
- Vegas Cocktail Culture: Las Vegas is known for its over-the-top extravagance, but it also has a vibrant cocktail scene with bartenders who have seen it all. The idea that anything would be the “most direct proposition” she’s ever received in Vegas is already quite humorous.
Now, let’s craft a new joke building on this:
Joke:
A sommelier, renowned for his pretentious wine descriptions, found himself stranded in a backwoods Arkansas bar after his car broke down. Desperate for a drink, he sidled up to the counter. “Good sir,” he began, “I’m rather parched. Might I trouble you for a dram of your finest… bourbon?”
The bartender, a man with a prodigious beard and a stained apron, grunted. “Got some fancy stuff behind the counter. Top shelf.”
The sommelier nodded approvingly. “Excellent. And would you happen to have… l’eau de roche?” (French for “water of the rocks”)
The bartender stared blankly. “Say what now?”
The sommelier sighed dramatically. “Ice, my good man. Just a small morceau du derriere… for my bourbon.”
The bartender’s eyes narrowed. “Now hold on there, fancy pants. You ain’t foolin’ nobody with your city talk. You want a piece of my ass, you gotta ask me real nice… and maybe tell me why you call it that!”