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A Russian walks into a bar and orders 3 double vodkas

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender asks, "What's wrong?"

"My son started wearing an I Stand With Putin t-shirt. Since then, he's been beaten, spat at, and had bottles thrown at him several times."

The bartender says, "That's too bad."

 "Yeah, I’m afraid to think what will happen to him if he leaves the house with that on."

Joke Poo: The Tech Support Call

A user calls tech support and complains that their computer is running incredibly slow.

The tech support agent asks, "What’s been happening? Any changes to your system recently?"

The user sighs, "My son started using my computer to train his AI model. He’s been running it non-stop, maxing out the CPU and GPU, and filling up the hard drive with datasets."

The tech support agent says, "That’s… intensive."

The user replies, "Yeah, I’m afraid to think what will happen to my electricity bill."

Okay, let’s analyze this joke.

Key Elements:

  • Setup: A Russian walks into a bar and orders 3 double vodkas. This immediately sets a cultural and potentially emotional context (vodka as a coping mechanism, Russian identity).
  • Misdirection/Irony: The bartender assumes the man is upset about something else (presumably negative news or situation in Russia).
  • Punchline: The man is actually worried about the consequences his son faces because of wearing a pro-Putin shirt. The humor comes from the disconnect between expected suffering (due to opposition) and the reality of suffering due to support. It also highlights the irony that pro-Putin sentiment might not be as widespread or universally accepted as propaganda suggests, even in Russia.
  • Political Commentary: The joke subtly critiques the current political climate. It acknowledges dissent and possible consequences (though applied ironically here) and also the (perhaps surprising) social repercussions for expressing support for a figure that may be seen as authoritarian by some.

Enrichment & New Humor:

Now, let’s use some of these elements and factual snippets to create something new.

Fact: Did you know that during periods of alcohol prohibition in Russia, vodka was sometimes produced in secret or smuggled, and a common unit of measurement was the "shtof," roughly equivalent to 1.23 liters?

New Joke/Observation:

A historian walks into a Moscow bar and orders a shtof of vodka. The bartender says, "Rough day? Did you find another discrepancy in the archives, proving Ivan the Terrible was actually quite reasonable?" The historian sighs, "Worse. My son started collecting Soviet-era propaganda posters. I’m worried he’ll start believing them!" The bartender pours the vodka, "Ah, the dangers of historical reenactment. At least he’s not dressing up as Rasputin… that’s a whole other shtof of problems."

Explanation of the New Joke:

  • It uses the "Russian bar" setup again.
  • It incorporates a historical fact (the ‘shtof’) and a more obscure joke.
  • It changes the ironic twist: The father is worried his son might actually believe Soviet Propaganda – a fear that stems from gullibility rather than the son facing social consequences for expressing an unpopular opinion.
  • It adds a layer of self-referential humor: the shtof reference.
  • It still contains a political undercurrent that it is more acceptable to be concerned with being perceived as naive, as opposed to being beaten up for a political opinion.

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