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A Scotsman Walks Into A Bar While On Holiday In Canada

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

And he says to the barman ‘What is that thing there that you’ve got hanging from the wall?’

And the Canadian behind the bar says ‘That right there sir, is our prized possession, it’s a moose that was killed just over there in my very own back yard’

The Scotsman slams his beer down on the table in shock and says ‘My God! If that’s a moose then I would love to see the size of your cats’

Joke Poo: A Floridian Enters a Swamp

A Floridian tourist in Louisiana is being guided through the bayou. He stops dead in his tracks and points at a massive, sun-baked mud print near the water’s edge.

He says to his guide, "Holy smokes, what made that footprint right there?"

The Cajun guide, scratching his chin, replies, "Well, cher, that’s the footprint of our biggest gator, ol’ Gustave. He’s been livin’ in this here swamp for over fifty years, and he’s a legend."

The Floridian squints, pulls out his phone, and takes a picture. He shakes his head in disbelief and says, "My God! If that’s the size of your gators, I’d hate to see the size of your lizards!"

Alright, let’s dissect this joke!

Key Elements:

  • The Setup: A Scotsman on holiday in Canada (establishes contrasting cultures and expectations).
  • The Question: The Scotsman focuses on a prominent feature of the bar – a moose head. This creates anticipation and sets the stage for comparison.
  • The Canadian’s Pride: The barman emphasizes the size and proximity of the moose kill, highlighting a difference in perspective regarding wildlife encounters.
  • The Punchline: The Scotsman’s exaggerated inference about the size of the Canadian cats based on the moose’s size is the core of the humor. It plays on the stereotype of exaggeration, the assumption that everything is bigger in a certain place, and the incongruity of domestic pets compared to wild game.

Underlying Themes:

  • Culture Clash: Scottish vs. Canadian perceptions of wildlife, hunting, and even general size expectations.
  • Exaggeration/Hyperbole: The Scotsman’s reaction takes the moose size to an absurd conclusion.
  • Stereotype Play: Subtly hints at stereotypes about both Scotsmen (reactionary) and Canadians (wildlife-centric).

Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:

Okay, let’s use some interesting moose facts to create a new humorous piece, playing off the original joke:

Interesting Moose Fact: Did you know that bull (male) moose antlers can weigh up to 70 pounds? And that moose have been known to charge trains, but often lose, because Trains dont care about the Moose’s feelings.

New Joke/Observation:

(Alternative Punchline to the Original): The Scotsman slams his beer down in shock. "My God! If that’s a moose, I’d be terrified to order a wee dram of whisky in this place! What are ye drinkin’ it oot of, the horn of a unicorn?"

Why this works:

  • Builds on the setup: Keeps the Scotsman character and his reaction.
  • Relates to the bar setting: Connects the "moose size" idea back to the bar and drinks.
  • Maintains the absurdity: Introduces the unicorn horn element, exaggerating the size expectations further.
  • Humor through incongruity: Combines the very "Canadian" moose with the fantastical unicorn. It’s funny because it’s completely unexpected.
  • Implies the Barman must be some sort of Magical Hero the only sort of person who can hunt and kill a unicorn in this day and age!

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