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A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.
"I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

Joke Poo: The Recycling Project

An environmentally conscious CEO tells her bioengineer she wants their company to be truly zero-waste and have them develop a process to recycle… everything. She specifically wants to address the sludge from their office composting program.

Out of a desire to innovate, the bioengineer insisted that the project be kept top secret and the CEO agreed.

Weeks later, the CEO, eager for progress, finds three meticulously crafted items on her desk. The first is a beautiful fountain pen, the second is a sturdy-looking walking stick, and the third is a delicate porcelain teacup.

Intrigued, she immediately calls in the bioengineer.

"I thought I asked you to keep this project confidential! How did these get here?"

The bioengineer assured her he had honored her wish for secrecy and that the first item was from him. "I felt compelled to create something useful from all that… material."

"The second item is from our groundskeeper. He was amazed at the durability of the final product and requested a walking stick for his garden."

"And what about the teacup?" she asked.

"That’s from the marketing intern. He wanted to thank you for his promotion. He’s now the head of our brand new… re-branding department."

Alright, let’s dissect this joke and then concoct some humorous embellishments!

Joke Deconstruction:

  • Core Elements: The core of the joke revolves around:

    • Vaginoplasty/Labia Reduction: A real surgical procedure with potential embarrassment or sensitivity attached.
    • Secrecy: The patient’s strong desire to keep the procedure private.
    • Misinterpretation/Irony: The roses as a sign of someone having told, but with a completely unexpected and darkly humorous explanation.
    • Burn Unit/Skin Graft: A sudden and shocking shift in perspective linking the surgery to a gruesome scenario.
  • Humor Mechanism: The humor arises from:
    • The Shock Factor: The unexpected and absurd twist involving the burn victim and ears. It takes a sensitive, intimate concern and turns it into something completely outlandish.
    • Subversion of Expectations: We anticipate the secret being broken, but not this way. We expect gossip, not organ donation.
    • Dark Humor: The joke treads a line between uncomfortable and funny by using a delicate subject (genital surgery) and tying it to a morbid one (burns).

Humorous Enrichment/Offshoot Ideas:

Here are a few ways we can build on this:

  1. "Did You Know?" (Playing on the real procedure):

    "Did you know labiaplasty, or vaginal lip reduction, has actually been performed since the 19th century? Back then, though, it was less about aesthetics and more about… well, let’s just say Victorian bathing suits left very little to the imagination. Surgeons were basically seamstresses with scalpels!"

  2. New Joke Setup (Twisting the "Secrecy" Angle):

    A woman undergoes a rather "involved" tummy tuck. She begs the surgeon for absolute discretion. Weeks later, she’s at a party, and a random guy walks up, slaps her stomach, and says, "Hey! I recognize that skin! Used to be my pool cover!"

  3. Witty Observation (Commenting on the Burn Unit Aspect):

    "You know, the moral of that joke is clear: Always recycle. You never know whose ears might benefit from your… ahem… ‘downsizing’."

  4. Exaggerated Hypothetical:

    The surgeon, horrified by the misunderstanding with the burn victim, decided to implement a new post-op rose protocol: "One rose if the procedure went smoothly and the patient is satisfied. Two roses if the patient leaves a five-star review. Three roses and a signed NDA if any body parts end up in unexpected locations."

  5. Meta-Commentary on the Original Joke (Acknowledging the Darkness):

    "That labiaplasty/burn victim joke is proof that sometimes the best medicine is laughter… even if it’s a laughter that makes you question your own moral compass."

The key is to either highlight a specific element of the original joke (like the secrecy, the procedure itself, or the burn victim angle) and exaggerate it, juxtapose it with an unexpected fact, or twist it into a new, hopefully amusing, direction.

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