As they get him up on deck and the captain is about to greet him and he lets loose the most disgusting, prolonged, stinky, productive fart any human being has ever released upon his fellow creatures. The captain repelled by the scent of this stinking cloud asks him why couldn’t you’ve done that in the water? And the man says, what do you think was keeping me afloat.
Joke Poo: The Talent Show
A renowned talent scout is judging auditions for a prestigious circus. One after another, hopefuls perform impressive feats: juggling fire, walking tightropes, and contorting into impossible shapes. However, none of them quite have that “it” factor.
Finally, a nervous-looking man steps onto the stage, takes a deep breath, and unleashes the most deafening, prolonged, perfectly-pitched operatic burp the scout has ever heard. It’s a sound of breathtaking power and beauty.
The scout, wiping a tear from his eye, exclaims, “That was incredible! But why couldn’t you have done that before you came on stage?”
The man shrugs and replies, “What do you think got me here? I used up all my talent just to get here!”
Alright, let’s break down this gloriously crude joke and see what comedic gold we can mine.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A ship rescues a man adrift at sea.
- Twist: The man, upon being rescued, unleashes an epic, horrific fart.
- Punchline: The fart was what was keeping him afloat.
- Humor Source:
- Incongruity: The absurd explanation clashes wildly with the expected explanations for buoyancy (life raft, debris, etc.).
- Gross-out: The description of the fart is intentionally repulsive.
- Subversion of Expectations: The expected greeting turns into a scene of olfactory assault.
- Understatement: The man’s casual explanation (“what do you think was keeping me afloat?”) adds to the humor.
Key Elements:
- Buoyancy: The scientific principle of objects floating based on displacement of water.
- Flatulence: The expulsion of intestinal gas.
- Rescue at Sea: The drama and urgency associated with saving someone from the ocean.
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:
Okay, let’s leverage these elements. Here are a few options:
Option 1: A Witty Observation (Playing on Buoyancy):
“You know, technically, that guy wasn’t entirely wrong. Methane, a component of farts, is lighter than air. So, a truly massive fart, if contained, could theoretically provide a minuscule amount of lift… albeit probably not enough to keep a human afloat. Unless, of course, he was also full of hot air in other ways.”
Option 2: A “Did You Know” Factoid (Linking Flatulence & Sea Creatures):
“Did you know that some marine animals, like sea cucumbers, use flatulence as a defense mechanism? When threatened, they expel a cloud of sticky, smelly gas from their anus to confuse predators. So, while our rescued sailor’s approach might seem unconventional, he’s not entirely alone in using gas for survival… just hopefully a bit more socially aware next time.”
Option 3: A New Joke (Building on the Original):
A scientist is studying the effects of diet on flatulence. He has three test subjects: a vegan, a bodybuilder, and our rescued sailor from the original story.
He asks the vegan, “What kind of gases are you expelling?”
The vegan replies, “Mostly methane and carbon dioxide.”
He then asks the bodybuilder, “What about you?”
The bodybuilder answers, “Mostly nitrogen from all the protein.”
Finally, he turns to the rescued sailor and asks, “And you, sir? What ungodly concoction are you producing?”
The sailor looks up, burps slightly, and says, “Depends on the tide. Sometimes it’s high, sometimes it’s low, but it’s always offshore.”
Option 4: A Question with Unexpected Response:
A man at the beach is sinking into the sand. “Help!” he cries out. “I’m sinking!”
A passerby rushes over and tries to pull him out, but is having no luck. “Can you hold on just a few more minutes?” the passerby grunts.
“I don’t know!” the man yells back. “I’m running out of air!”
“Just hold on! I called the ship to come rescue you,” the passerby assures.
“Too late!” the man says as he winks and lets loose a barrage of loud farts.
Which is the funniest? It is subjective. All of the above tries to add a certain intellectual element to the joke while playing with the expectation that humor will only come from that very first joke. In a comedy routine, all the different types can be used as a callback to the first joke.
The joke itself is funny because it’s unexpected, and a bit gross. I hope the new jokes would generate similar reactions.