A smoking hot woman walks into a bar

Joke Poo: The Art Critic Frog

A renowned art collector walks into a gallery and orders a champagne. While admiring a particularly abstract piece, he notices a small frog sitting on a pedestal next to it.

"What’s with the amphibian?" he asks the curator.

"Oh, he’s our resident art critic," the curator replies. "He has an uncanny ability to discern true artistic merit."

"Really? I’ve never heard of a frog with such sophisticated taste," the collector says, intrigued. After an hour of browsing and several more glasses of champagne, he approaches the curator again. "Look, I’m absolutely captivated by this frog. Could I, perhaps, borrow him for the evening? I have a private viewing of some… controversial pieces at my home."

"Certainly," the curator says. "But call me if there’s any trouble. He can be rather… opinionated."

Later that night, the curator receives a frantic call. "I’m surrounded by my most prized (and morally dubious) acquisitions," the collector yells. "Renaissance nudes, Nazi art, a signed velvet Elvis, and that damn frog is just sitting there, completely silent! He’s not critiquing anything!"

"Oh dear," the curator says. "I’ll be right over."

He arrives to find the collector sweating profusely, surrounded by the aforementioned questionable art. The frog is indeed silent, perched on a marble bust. The curator picks up the frog and holds it to his ear.

"What?!" the curator exclaims. "Really?! You think the composition is derivative?!" He pauses, listening intently. "FINE! But this is the last time I bring you out! And NO commenting on my personal taste in socks!"

Alright, let’s break down this joke and then inject some comedic nitro:

Joke Dissection:

• Core Premise: The joke hinges on a double entendre: "eats pussy" implying both the amphibian consuming female genitalia and the colloquialism for female intimacy. The woman’s naive interpretation sets up the comedic payoff.
• Characters:
  • Smoking Hot Woman: Stereotypical, used for initial attention and to heighten the contrast with the absurdity.
  • Bartender: A knowing, sly individual who understands the double meaning and is essentially running a con.
  • Frog: The innocent but central element; a silent player whose "abilities" are the source of conflict and humor.
• Humor Delivery:
  • Suspense: Building curiosity around the frog’s purported abilities.
  • Misdirection: The woman’s eagerness and the bartender’s initial response ("call me if there are any problems") create anticipation.
  • Reversal: The frog’s inaction and the bartender’s subsequent dialogue with the frog subverts the expectation of a sexual act. The bartender is revealed to be using the woman to show the frog how to do it.
  • Absurdity: The image of a bartender listening to a frog and relaying instructions to a woman in a compromising position is inherently ridiculous.

Comedic Enrichment – New Joke:

I heard a similar joke about a parrot who could supposedly speak any language. A wealthy businessman bought the parrot, hoping to impress clients with its linguistic abilities. He brought it home, placed it in a cage, and excitedly declared, "Okay, Polly, say something in French!"

The parrot just stared back blankly.

"Come on, now," the businessman pleaded. "You were advertised as fluent in multiple languages! Try Spanish! Italian! Anything!"

Still nothing.

Frustrated, the businessman called the pet store. "This parrot is a fraud! It doesn’t speak a single language!"

The pet store owner chuckled. "Oh, he speaks languages alright. But he’s a programmer parrot. He only responds to specific commands and has to watch someone else do it."

The businessman, equally as frustrated and with the same sense of urgency as the woman in the original joke exclaimed, "So what am I supposed to do?!"

The pet store owner replied, "Well, do you have a girlfriend that speaks any foreign languages?"