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A Stoner finds a dirty old lantern and gives is a rub when suddenly a Genie appears out of the lantern.

Posted on June 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

The Stoner is surprised when the Genie thanks him for releasing him and says “I can grant you three wishes, what is your first wish”.

The Stoner says “I wish me and you could smoke nice fat joint” and like magic a beautiful joint appears and they both smoke it.

After they finish, the Genie asks “ok, what about wish number 2” to which the Stoner says “how about we smoke another joint” and like before another doobie magically appears and they both enjoy it.

The genie then asks “what do you want for your third and final wish” and the Stoner said “Let’s have another joint together” which they do and they enjoy smoking in the sun.

At the end of the last joint the Genie disappears back into the lantern leaving the Stoner alone.

Five minutes later, the Genie reappears out of the lantern and says to the Stoner “I can grant you three wishes, what is your first wish?”

Joke Poo: The IT Guy’s Lantern

An IT guy finds a dusty old server rack in the basement and gives it a whack. Suddenly, a flamboyant System Admin genie emerges.

The IT guy, barely looking up from his phone, is surprised when the Admin thanks him for releasing him and says, "I can grant you three wishes, what is your first wish?"

The IT guy says, "I wish all our users would actually read the FAQs before submitting a ticket." Instantly, a giant banner appears on every user’s screen forcing them to read a comprehensive FAQ.

After a moment, the Admin asks, "Okay, what about wish number 2?" to which the IT guy says, "How about all our printers just work, automatically, all the time?" Like magic, every printer in the office starts humming and dispensing perfect copies.

The Admin, looking tired, asks, "What do you want for your third and final wish?" The IT guy, scratching his beard, says, "Let’s have everyone’s passwords automatically reset every week, with strong complexity requirements!" Which promptly happens. Chaos ensues.

At the end of the password reset, the Admin disappears back into the server rack, exhausted.

Five minutes later, the Admin reappears, pulls the IT guy aside, and whispers, "I can grant you three wishes, what is your first wish? Seriously, man, you need a raise. Wish for something useful this time!"

Alright, let’s break down this stoner-genie joke and then see if we can sprinkle some comedic fairy dust on it.

Joke Dissection:

  • Premise: Classic genie-in-a-lamp setup with a stoner as the wisher. The humor arises from the predictable nature of the stoner’s desires and the circular ending.
  • Key Elements:
    • The Stoner Character: Represents simple, immediate gratification.
    • The Genie: A powerful being reduced to fulfilling mundane, albeit enjoyable, wishes.
    • The Wish Fulfillment: Specifically, the wish is always for smoking a joint.
    • The Circular Ending: The genie is back in the lamp and the loop restarts, suggesting both the stoner and the genie are stuck in an endless cycle of smoking.
  • Humor Source: The joke plays on stereotypes about stoners, the trivialization of a powerful magical gift, and the repetition and lack of ambition. The ending provides an ironic twist – nothing has changed.

Comedic Enrichment:

Let’s focus on the nature of wishes and the inherent comedic possibilities of a Genie stuck in a loop.

New Witty Observation/Joke/Did-You-Know:

Observation: Did you know that mathematically, the stoner’s wish-granting scenario perfectly illustrates Zeno’s Paradox? Each wish brings the stoner closer to the ultimate high, but he never actually achieves it because he keeps stopping to make another wish. It’s like Achilles and the tortoise, but with more munchies.

Joke: A statistician walks into a bar, orders a beer, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The statistician sighs and says, "I just finished analyzing the stoner-genie wish paradox. Turns out, the more joints they smoke, the closer they get to Nirvana, but the variance in the experience actually increases. Meaning, while the average high might be higher, the range of possible highs goes from ‘Mildly Amused’ to ‘Thinking the Carpet is Alive and Plotting Against Me’."

Did You Know? (with a comedic twist): Did you know that according to some ancient Islamic folklore, genies can be tricked or confused by logical paradoxes? So, the next time you’re trapped with a genie, just tell him, "This statement is false." That’ll keep him busy for a long time. Unless he’s already high, then he’ll probably just say "cool, man" and start talking about the interconnectedness of all things.

New Joke (Playing on the premise):

The Genie, completely burnt out after centuries of servitude, appears before a new master: a meticulous accountant. "I grant you three wishes!" he drones. The accountant, unfazed, replies, "Excellent. First, I wish you to provide a fully audited, GAAP-compliant statement of your total wish-granting liabilities since your confinement, broken down by wish type, recipient demographics, and potential inflationary impacts." The Genie stares blankly, then slowly fades back into the lamp. "I’m going to need another few thousand years for that one," he mumbles.

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