At the local bar, someone asked him if he was married.
"I'm divorced, actually. Never could find a woman I didn't end up fighting with all the time," he replied.
The local man said: "Then you should go talk to the old couple that lives on the hill outside the village. Rumour has it that they've been married over 60 years and they've never fought this whole time."
"What?? That's impossible! Everyone has fights!" exclaimed the traveller, but the local swore to him it was the truth and nothing but.
The traveller just had to check it out, so in the morning he knocked on the door of the little house on the hill and was immediately welcomed by the husband, who invited him in for tea.
After the traveller explained why he came to see him, the man smiled and nodded.
"It's true. We never fight."
"Please," begged the traveller, "Can you tell me your secret?"
"Well," said the old man, "It all started about 60 years ago, right after the wedding. We were riding our mule back to town and walking it down the street when it tripped over a stone and my wife said to him: 'That's one.' We kept riding and he tripped again on another stone, which made my wife immediately say: 'That's two.' Two minutes later, the mule trips over a stone again. My wife said: 'That's three.' She pulled out a gun I never knew she had and shot it in the head without thinking twice! I was shocked and yelled at her: 'What the heck do you think you're doing? We needed that mule! Are you crazy?!' "My wife looked me straight in the eye and said: 'That's one.' "And we haven't had a fight since."
Joke Poo: The Software Engineer’s Marriage
A junior software engineer, fresh out of college, joined a tech startup known for its brutal work hours. He was talking to a senior developer during a late-night coding session in the office cafeteria.
"Man, I’m getting divorced," the junior engineer sighed. "I can never seem to get along with my wife. Every little thing turns into a huge argument."
The senior developer, who looked like he hadn’t seen daylight in years, slurped his instant noodles and said, "You should talk to Bill. He’s been married for 40 years, and I’ve never heard him say a bad thing about his wife."
The junior engineer scoffed. "Come on! No one’s that lucky! How could anyone not have disagreements after all that time?"
Intrigued, the next day the junior engineer approached Bill during standup. After some prodding, Bill agreed to share his secret.
"Well," Bill began, adjusting his glasses, "It all started right after the wedding. We were setting up our new smart home, and the AI assistant kept misinterpreting my wife’s commands. She asked it to turn on the lights, and it started playing heavy metal. ‘Bug one,’ she muttered. Then she asked it to play our wedding song, and it started ordering 20 pizzas. ‘Bug two,’ she said calmly. Then, she asked it to start the air conditioning, and it locked all the doors and started playing baby shark on repeat. ‘Bug three,’ she stated. She grabbed a hammer I didn’t even know she owned and smashed the AI assistant into a million pieces without hesitation. I screamed, ‘What the hell are you doing?! That was an expensive piece of tech!’ My wife looked at me and said… ‘Commit one.’"
"We haven’t had a disagreement since."
Alright, let’s analyze this joke and then spice things up.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: A divorced traveler, tired of fighting, seeks the secret to a long, argument-free marriage.
- Premise: An old couple in a village is rumored to have been married for 60 years without a single fight.
- Punchline: The husband reveals the "secret" – his wife immediately established dominance by killing their mule after a minor inconvenience, and then threatened him into silence. The humor lies in the unexpected, extreme, and darkly comedic method for conflict resolution. It subverts the expectation of a wise, thoughtful approach to marital harmony.
- Key Elements:
- Marriage
- Fighting/Arguments
- Mules
- Guns (and implied violence)
- Rural Setting/Small Village
- Age/Longevity of Marriage
Comedic Enrichment Attempt:
Type: Witty observation and "Did you know?" hybrid.
"So, the secret to a long and peaceful marriage might not be understanding or compromise, but immediate and overwhelming displays of force. Which, honestly, explains a lot about international relations… and some marriages.
Did you know, though, that mules, while famously stubborn and potentially trip-prone, are also remarkably intelligent animals? There’s a reason they were preferred for navigating dangerous terrain in the past. In fact, maybe the mule was deliberately testing the couple all along, playing a subtle marital game of endurance. The wife’s reaction? Perhaps not the best way to deal with equine passive-aggression, but certainly… decisive. After all, sometimes the only language understood is one of finality, and a six-shooter. But maybe avoid trying this at home! Unless you’ve got a really stubborn pet and an understanding spouse (and a very, very, very big yard, somewhere very, very remote)."