Angry as she’s ever been, she storms to the back of the bus and sits next to a man who is reading the newspaper.
He noticed the woman was visibly upset and asks her what’s wrong.
She says, “That bus driver just insulted me and my family!”
So the man says, “Well that’s just terrible! You go up there and give him a piece of your mind. Go ahead! I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Joke Poo: The Pigeon Poop
An eccentric ornithologist boards a park bench, covered in fresh pigeon droppings. A nearby gentleman exclaims, “That’s the messiest avian evacuation I’ve ever witnessed!”
Furious, the ornithologist, splattered and steaming, sits down beside a lady knitting furiously.
Noticing the woman’s agitated state, the knitter inquires, “My dear, what troubles you so?”
She retorts, “That dreadful fellow on the bench just insulted my precious research!”
The knitter, without looking up, replies, “Well, that’s utterly unacceptable! You march right back over there and give him a verbal dressing-down! Don’t you fret; I’ll hold your prized hawk for you.”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke.
Core Elements:
- Premise: A bus driver insults a woman’s baby’s appearance.
- Misdirection: We expect the man to offer sympathy or practical advice (like reporting the driver).
- Punchline: The man’s offer to hold her “monkey” reveals the ‘baby’ is not human, creating a darkly humorous surprise.
- Taboo/Shock Value: The implication that the baby is a monkey leans into potentially uncomfortable or even offensive territory depending on interpretation.
- Unexpected Animal: The joke wouldn’t work nearly as well if it was a dog, a cat, etc. – a monkey provides that element of surprise and perceived ‘strangeness’.
Factual Tidbits & Connections:
- Monkeys and Buses: Monkeys have, historically, been used in various forms of transportation and entertainment. Think of “organ grinder monkeys” or helper monkeys for individuals with disabilities.
- Monkey Intelligence: Some monkey species, like capuchins (often used as service animals), have impressive cognitive abilities. They can understand complex commands, solve problems, and even use tools.
- Primate Social Dynamics: Primates are highly social animals, and their offspring are incredibly important to them. Mothers are extremely protective.
New Humor Creation:
Joke:
A primatologist gets on a crowded city bus with her baby chimp. The bus driver squints and says, “Wow, that’s a homely kid, even for a chimp!”
The primatologist, a bit offended, finds a seat. A fellow passenger sees her huffing and says, “He shouldn’t have said that! Tell you what, go up there and give him a piece of your mind. I’ll hold your research grant for you.”
Witty Observation:
The inherent problem with offering to hold someone’s “monkey” is you’ve immediately created a social contract where both parties secretly fear being the one who gets poo flung at them.
Amusing ‘Did You Know?’
Did you know that some monkeys have learned to use buses… as mobile grooming stations? In certain regions, macaques are notorious for hopping onto parked buses and meticulously picking through each other’s fur, much to the annoyance of the (human) passengers waiting to board. They even seem to understand the route, hopping off just before their stop – presumably for bananas.
Enhancement of the Original:
We could make the original joke more offensive and educational (a dangerous combination!) by having the man offer to hold her “gibbon” instead of a “monkey.” This allows for a follow-up explanation:
“It’s not a monkey, it’s a gibbon!” she replies indignantly. “Gibbons are Lesser Apes, you Philistine! They are characterized by their brachiating locomotion and melodious singing.”
Then we either end it there, with the bus driver and passenger both having learned something while still being generally unpleasant, or we can add the cherry on top:
Then the gibbon throws its poo at the man’s face.
The new iterations attempt to amplify the original’s core elements while incorporating factual information and adding a layer of unexpectedness or commentary. They also, hopefully, add a little more humor (or at least raise an eyebrow or two!)