15 years later, one of the boys goes to her mother and says "mum, I was having a piss and a Bulley came out", the mother tells him the story and he goes away. 20 minutes later, her daughter comes to her and tells her "mum, I was having a pee and a bullet came out" the mother tells her the story and she goes back. 10 minutes later, the boy comes go her mum and goes "mum I was having a-". The mother interupts "let me guess, you were having a pee, and a bullet came out". "No, I was having a wank and I shot the dog"
Okay, here’s a new joke, “Joke Poo,” based on the provided joke, aiming for a similar comedic structure and surprising twist:
Joke Poo:
A farmer’s prized cow accidentally eats a box of government-grade fertilizer.
Ten years later, the farmer’s eldest son comes to him and says, “Dad, I was helping muck out the barn, and I stepped in some cow poo… and a miniature tractor came out!” The farmer tells him the story about the fertilizer, and the son goes back to work.
Twenty minutes later, the farmer’s daughter rushes in and says, “Dad, I was sweeping up by the cows, and I stepped in some cow poo… and a tiny combine harvester came out!” The farmer tells her the fertilizer story, and she goes back to work.
Ten minutes later, the youngest son comes running in, pale and sweating, and goes, “Dad, I was…!”
The farmer interrupts, “Let me guess, you were cleaning up the barn and you stepped in some cow poo, and a miniature farm implement came out?”
“No!” the youngest son yells, “I was taking a dump behind the barn, and now I’m half-way to China!”
Okay, let’s break down this… unique joke and see what we can mine from it.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A woman pregnant with triplets is shot. The absurdity lies in the later implication that bullets remained lodged inside her for 15 years, and those bullets were somehow expelled through the children’s bodily functions.
- Setup: The first two children discover and report the expelled bullets. The mother provides a far-fetched explanation.
- Twist/Punchline: The third child’s experience subverts the established pattern. Instead of a bullet coming out during urination, it’s during masturbation, and with disastrous consequences for the family dog.
- Humor Source: The humor relies heavily on:
- Absurdity: The entire scenario is medically and logically impossible.
- Gross-out/Shock Value: The initial reports of bullets during urination are already pretty out there. The final punchline throws in bestiality vibes which is off putting to say the least, and it’s this shift to something even more shocking that is the main driver of the joke.
- Subversion of Expectation: The setup creates a very clear pattern that the punchline deliberately breaks.
Key Elements:
- Pregnancy/Childbirth: The very start of the joke.
- Bullets/Gun Violence: The unlikely origin of the bullets, and key driver of the joke.
- Excretion/Bodily Functions: The bullets expelled through peeing.
- Sexual Activity: The unexpected final action, ‘wanking’, takes the humor into more adult themes.
- Dogs: The unfortunate victim of a stray bullet.
Comedic Enrichment:
Given the already ‘out there’ nature of the joke, trying to top it with another equally shocking joke is risky. Instead, let’s try to weave in some interesting factual tidbits to further enhance the absurdity, or create a new, related, but more subtle, observation:
Option 1: The “Did You Know” Approach
“You know, this joke reminds me of something I read about World War I. Did you know that some soldiers actually did live for years with shrapnel lodged in their bodies? One guy had a piece of metal near his heart for over 70 years! Imagine the family reunions: ‘Grandpa, tell us again about the time you sneezed and coughed up a bit of the Somme!'”
(This approach takes the core concept of retained projectiles, but grounds it (slightly) in reality and adds a layer of historical absurdity.)
Option 2: The “Medical Case Study” Parody
“I heard a slightly less sensational version of this presented at a medical conference once. Apparently, there was a case study of a man who, after a childhood BB gun accident, discovered tiny metallic pellets in his urine later in life. The doctors were baffled… until they realized he was taking a new type of iron supplement that was designed to be incredibly slow-release. They nicknamed him ‘The Iron Man 2.0’.”
(This leans into the medical aspect, presenting a believable-ish explanation that’s still ridiculous. This gives plausible deniability to the idea of bullets in urine. It also avoids the more problematic aspects of the original joke.)
Option 3: A Witty Observation
“The real tragedy in that joke isn’t the bullets, it’s the dog. I mean, think about it: That dog is now going to have trust issues. Every time the boy gets close, it’s going to be thinking, ‘Oh god, is he going to…’ squeezes eyes shut ‘…shoot me again?’ Post-traumatic puppy disorder is a serious issue!”
(This focuses on the collateral damage and highlights the humor in the unexpected victim.)
Ultimately, the success of any of these depends on the audience and the context. The original joke is very edgy, so a lighter, more observational approach is probably safer.