The driver, a tormented 40-year-old woman, looks at her and says,
"Perfect timing, you’re just like The Amazing Sharon Smith!"
The woman, wiping rain off her coat, asks, "Who’s that?"
The driver replies,
"Sharon Smith – she did everything right. I mean everything! Just like you showing up right when I needed a fare – that’s how Sharon’s life worked. Every. Single. Time."
The woman laughs, "Oh come on, nobody’s perfect!"
The driver shakes her head, "I'd normally agree, but Sharon Smith was. She could’ve been a world-class athlete, golfed like a champ, sang like an angel, and danced like she owned Broadway!"
"And the piano? She didn’t play it – she commanded it."
"Her cooking? Deserved a Michelin star. I swear she could’ve fed a king and a picky toddler in the same meal."
The woman chuckles, "Wow, sounds like quite the woman!"
The driver nodded in agreement, "She could fix anything too. Never raised her voice. Dressed like she was straight off the cover of American Vogue."
"She made everyone around her feel special. Never forgot a birthday. Never burned toast. Just… perfection."
The woman smiles, "She really sounds too good to be true. So, how’d you meet her?"
The driver sighs and says,
"I never did. She died long before I came around…"
"But I did marry her widowed husband!"
Joke Poo: The Amazing Kevin Chen
An alien crash-lands in a desolate Nevada desert and stumbles into a dusty diner. The waitress, a weary-looking robot, glances at it and says,
“Perfect timing, you’re just like The Amazing Kevin Chen!”
The alien, dripping goo, asks, “Who’s that?”
The robot replies, “Kevin Chen – he did everything wrong. I mean everything! Just like you crashing here right when I need a distraction from cleaning grease traps – that’s how Kevin’s life worked. Every. Single. Time.”
The alien gurgles, “Oh come on, nobody’s that bad!”
The robot shakes its head, “I’d normally agree, but Kevin Chen was. He couldn’t run a bath without overflowing it, sliced golf balls into passing cars, sang like a dying robot, and danced like he’d never seen legs before!”
“And the control panel on the toaster? He didn’t use it – he short-circuited it.”
“His cooking? Deserved a hazmat team. I swear he could’ve burned water and given a goldfish food poisoning.”
The alien tilts its head, “Wow, sounds like quite the disaster!”
The robot nodded in agreement, “He could break anything too. Never lowered his voice. Dressed like he’d raided a dumpster behind a clown college.”
“He made everyone around him feel annoyed. Always forgot to recharge. Always set off the smoke alarm. Just… incompetent.”
The alien burbles, “He really sounds too terrible to be true. So, how’d you meet him?”
The robot sighs and says,
“I never did. He was deactivated long before I came online…”
“But I am running his warranty claims department!”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and then build some comedic enrichment around it.
Joke Analysis:
- Setup: A woman gets into a cab on a rainy night, setting a scene of slightly vulnerable convenience.
- Central Element: The cab driver’s hyperbolic, almost absurd, description of “The Amazing Sharon Smith.” The humor relies on the escalating absurdity of the driver’s claims of perfection.
- Twist/Punchline: The cab driver’s personal connection to Sharon Smith is revealed only in the final line: “I married her widowed husband!” This creates a shift in perspective; it’s not just admiration, it’s envy and likely a feeling of being compared to an impossible ideal.
- Themes: The joke touches upon themes of: the impossible standards women are often held to, the green-eyed monster (jealousy), and the unrealistic nature of perceived perfection.
Comedic Enrichment: A “Did You Know?” Observation
- Element: The idealized perfection of Sharon Smith’s cooking.
- Factual Tidbit: “Michelin star” cooking.
New Joke (Playing off Original):
“Did you know that Michelin stars, which the cab driver insisted Sharon Smith’s cooking deserved, were originally a marketing tactic by the Michelin tire company? They wanted to encourage more driving, which would, of course, wear out tires. So, technically, Sharon Smith’s perfect crème brûlée, capable of satisfying both royalty and a toddler, might have indirectly fueled the cab industry and contributed to the tire needs of her successor…the cab driver!”
Explanation:
This approach connects the specific detail of the Michelin star to a humorous and ironic origin. It also re-frames Sharon Smith’s domestic perfection in a way that links back to the initial setting of the joke (the cab) and the cab driver’s profession. The humor is derived from the absurdity of imagining Sharon Smith’s cooking having this unintended consequence.
Alternative Approach: New Joke Structure
Here’s a punchier, self-contained joke built from the elements of the original:
New Joke:
Why did the cab driver divorce Sharon Smith’s widower?
Because living in the shadow of perfect toast was a stale existence!
Explanation:
This joke takes the detail of “never burned toast” and turns it into a metaphor for the overwhelming shadow of perfection the new wife lived under. It’s quick, relies on the same theme of unattainable standards, and ends with a wordplay punchline.
Amusing Observation:
It’s interesting how the cab driver, in lamenting never meeting Sharon Smith, fails to consider the upside: she never had to endure Sharon Smith’s perfectly curated Instagram feed. The pressure!
Explanation:
This brings the joke into the modern era, imagining how the cab driver’s resentment would have been stoked further by social media perfection.