She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So how are you getting there?”
"We're taking Continental” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”
“Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late. So where are you staying in Rome?”
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste.”
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.”
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.”
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.. And the Teste hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!”
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.”
"Actually, we were quite lucky because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”
"Oh, really! What'd he say?”
He said: "Who fucked up your hair?
Joke Poo: The Tech Support Call
A nervous user, Brenda, was on a video call with tech support to help her set up her new smart toaster.
She mentioned her excitement, and the tech support guy, a young man named Kevin, responded: “Smart toasters? Why would anyone want one of those things? They’re complicated and they always break down. You’re crazy to get a smart toaster. So, what brand did you get?”
“I got a ‘ToastMaster 5000’,” Brenda replied. “It was on sale.”
“ToastMaster 5000?” Kevin exclaimed. “That’s the worst brand! Their firmware is buggy, their user interface is clunky, and they’re always bricking themselves after updates. So, how are you connecting it to the internet?”
“I’m using the ‘Wireless WonderNet 2.4 GHz’ network,” Brenda said tentatively.
“Don’t even go there! I know that network! Everybody thinks it’s reliable, but it drops connection every five minutes! You’ll never get a consistent golden brown!”
“Well, I was hoping to use the face recognition feature to always know who’s toast is ready.”
“Oh, that’s rich,” Kevin scoffed. “You and a million other people trying to use that feature. The camera barely works, and it only recognizes your own face half the time! Boy, good luck with this frustrating experience. You’re going to need it.”
A week later, Brenda called tech support again. Kevin, unfortunately, was still on duty. He sighed as he saw her name pop up. “So, how’s that smart toaster working out for you?”
“It was incredible,” Brenda explained. “Not only did the ToastMaster 5000 connect to the internet flawlessly, but it turned out I had the latest hardware version, which had all the newest features unlocked. And the Wireless WonderNet? It actually had its infrastructure upgraded, and I had lightning-fast connectivity! “
“Well,” muttered Kevin, “that’s all well and good, but I bet that face recognition is completely broken.”
“Actually, we were quite lucky because, as I was setting up my profile, a notification popped up on the toaster’s screen. It said that the CEO of ToastMaster was personally checking on all new users and asked if I would be willing to do a quick video conference.”
“Sure enough, five minutes later, the CEO himself appeared on the screen and guided me through the setup! We chatted about toast, and he really listened to my feedback.”
“Oh, really! What’d he say?”
He said, “Who recommended this tech support service?”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke!
Key Elements:
- The Pessimist Hairdresser: A character defined by negativity and critical pronouncements.
- The Optimistic Traveler: The woman embodies a positive outlook and experiences an unexpectedly amazing trip, directly contradicting the hairdresser’s predictions.
- Situational Irony: The humor lies in the complete reversal of expectations, highlighting the hairdresser’s incorrect assumptions about the trip.
- The Punchline: The Pope’s question about the hair delivers the final blow, bringing the story back to the hairdresser’s domain and ironically acknowledging their perceived expertise.
Humorous Tidbit & Enrichment:
Here’s a ‘Did You Know’ observation that plays off the hairdresser’s negativity and the Pope’s surprise:
Did you know? The Vatican City has its own official hairdresser! But due to the Pope’s schedule and preference for simplicity, his hair is often styled by someone on his personal staff. So, the next time you’re criticizing someone’s hair, remember, even the Pope might have a different stylist than you expect.
New Joke Idea based on same themes:
A man is getting fitted for a spacesuit, excitedly telling the technician about his trip to Mars. “Oh, this is going to be amazing, a whole new world!”
The technician sighs, “Mars? Ugh, why would anyone want to go there? It’s dusty, cold, and nothing but red rocks. It’s probably more polluted by discarded Martian rovers than earth!”
The man replies, “Well, at least it’ll be a new experience.”
The technician rolls his eyes, “Don’t expect too much. The food’s all freeze-dried, the atmosphere is thin, and the rover is bound to break down. And the cosmic radiation…. don’t get me started!”
A month later, the man returns, beaming. “Mars was incredible! I got to see sunsets that painters can only dream of, the rover never broke down, and my research yielded groundbreaking new discoveries!”
The technician grumbles, “Yeah, yeah, but I bet you still couldn’t escape the awful freeze-dried food.”
The man grins. “Actually, while I was there, a friendly Martian scientist stopped by my module and asked, ‘Who designed your spacesuit? The seams are all wrong! It’s a disaster!”