She browsed around, before she spotted a beautiful 8-carat diamond engagement ring and walked over to inspect it. As she leaned forward to look more closely she broke wind. Very embarrassed, she looked around cautiously to see if anyone noticed her little 'accident' and prayed that a sales person didn't appear right away.
As she turned around, her worst fears were realized when she saw a saleswoman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the saleswoman greeted her: "Good morning madam. How may I help you today?"
Nervously, but hoping that the saleswoman may not have been there at the time she 'let one slip', she asked her: "I'm curious. How much is this engagement ring?"
The saleswoman answered: "Lady, if you farted just looking at it, I imagine you will probably shit yourself when I tell you the price."
Joke Poo: The Antiquities Appraisal
An elderly professor, renowned for his expertise in ancient pottery, was invited to a wealthy collector’s mansion to appraise a newly acquired Grecian urn. He peered at it intently, circling it slowly, his brow furrowed in concentration. As he leaned in to examine a particularly intricate detail, he let out a loud, resonant fart. Mortified, he glanced around, hoping no one had noticed his accidental emission.
Just then, the collector, a portly man with a monocle, waddled up behind him. Maintaining an air of refined nonchalance, he inquired, “Good afternoon, Professor. What are your initial thoughts?”
The professor, flustered and hoping the collector hadn’t been within earshot, stammered, “Yes, well, I’m… I’m still examining it. I’m curious, what’s your provenance on this piece?”
The collector adjusted his monocle and replied, “Professor, if you just tooted looking at it, imagine what you’ll do when I tell you its age.”
Alright, let’s analyze this joke.
Joke Breakdown:
- Setup: A bride-to-be enters a jewelry store, sees a ring, and accidentally farts.
- Key Element 1: Embarrassment/Social Faux Pas: The central comedic device is the embarrassment of a public bodily function, specifically one considered rude.
- Key Element 2: The Ring (Exaggerated Value): The ring serves as a catalyst for the fart and a reason for the salesperson to make the joke. It represents significant value and therefore a source of potential financial shock.
- Key Element 3: The Saleswoman (Professional facade): The saleswoman maintains a professional demeanor but then delivers a cutting and unexpected retort. This contrast is crucial to the humor.
- Punchline: The saleswoman’s brutally honest and vulgar response creates the unexpected twist that leads to laughter. It hyperbolizes the shock value of the ring’s price.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s use these elements to create a ‘Did You Know?’ scenario:
Did you know?
The Koh-i-Noor diamond, now part of the British Crown Jewels, is estimated to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Its history is filled with battles, curses, and changes of ownership. Legend has it that owning the Koh-i-Noor brings bad luck specifically to men. Now, picture this: A nervous tourist visits the Tower of London, stands before the Crown Jewels, and, after learning about the Koh-i-Noor, experiences a sudden, urgent need for the restroom… only to be confronted by a stoic Beefeater who says, “Well now, if merely looking at it gives you that feeling, I dread to think what touching it would do! Do you have an Indian passport on you, Sir?”
Why this works:
- Builds on the Exaggerated Value: Connects to the original joke’s expensive ring by using a real-world example.
- Embarrassment: Plays with the anticipation of a social faux pas, building tension.
- Unexpected twist: The punchline borrows the style of the saleswoman’s retort to create a new surprise element to the set up.
- Leverages existing knowledge: Most people have some familiarity with the Crown Jewels, making the scenario relatable.
- Adds a slightly satirical edge: Touches on the complicated history of the Koh-i-Noor and its potential return.
The goal is to take the core humor of the original joke – the surprising juxtaposition of high-value objects and low-brow bodily functions – and repackage it in a fresh, factually-grounded, and still humorous way.