Being short, like many elderly women are, both of them could barely see over the dashboard.
As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The light was red… but they drove straight through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought, “I must be losing it. I could’ve sworn that was a red light.”
A few minutes later – another red light. And again, right through it.
Now nervous, the passenger sat up straighter and paid close attention.
At the next red light, they again drove right on through!
She turned to her friend and said,
“Mildred, did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row?! You could have killed us!”
Mildred looked over and said, “Oh geez, am I driving?”
Joke Poo: The Parrot’s Poop
After munching on a handful of chili peppers, two parrots were flying back to their cage. Being small birds, like many parrots are, both struggled to maintain altitude against the strong wind.
As they soared along, they passed a freshly washed car. It was gleaming white… but they flew right over it.
The parrot in the back thought, “I must be losing it. I could’ve sworn that was a pristine vehicle.”
A few minutes later – another sparkling clean car. And again, right over it.
Now anxious, the parrot in the back preened its feathers nervously.
At the next spotless car, they again flew directly above it!
It squawked to its companion, “Percy, did you know we just pooped on three clean cars in a row?! You could have gotten us shot!”
Percy looked over and said, “Oh geez, am I flying?”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then uncork some new humor from it.
Joke Analysis:
- Setup: Elderly women, wine at lunch, large car, height impairment, repeated traffic violation.
- Key Elements:
- Age Stereotype: Implicitly relies on stereotypes about elderly drivers.
- Intoxication: Wine consumption lowers inhibitions and impacts judgment.
- Visual Impairment: Short stature and the car’s size create a physical driving challenge.
- Denial/Obliviousness: Passenger’s initial denial, followed by the driver’s complete unawareness.
- Irony/Surprise: The punchline flips the expectation – the danger wasn’t just bad driving, but unintentional driving.
- Humor Source: The humor comes from the absurd disconnect between the potentially life-threatening situation and Mildred’s complete cluelessness. It’s a comedic exaggeration of common anxieties about aging and driving.
Humor Enrichment:
Let’s focus on the visual impairment aspect, and spin it into a “Did you know?” style observation:
Original Joke Element: Short stature impacting visibility while driving.
Did You Know?
“Did you know that some car manufacturers used to offer “periscope mirrors” as optional accessories? Designed for shorter drivers in larger vehicles, these contraptions sat on the dashboard and offered an elevated view of the road! They weren’t particularly popular though; apparently, the extra foot you gained in height was offset by the extra 3 seconds it took to focus your bifocals between the road and the mirror. And of course, they went straight out the window once GPS became mainstream.”
Why this is funny/enhances the original:
- Relates Directly: It’s a factoid directly linked to the joke’s core premise – the difficulty of short people driving large vehicles.
- Absurd Element: The “periscope mirror” idea itself is inherently a bit silly, highlighting the lengths people went to overcome this problem.
- Modern Twist: The reference to bifocals and GPS brings the topic into the present, adding a relatable touch and a jab at our reliance on technology.
- Implication: It hints at a world where Mildred could have purchased such a device, but obviously didn’t.
Another possible humorous observation focusing on the intersection of aging, driving, and technology:
Original Joke Element: Age, tech reliance, driving.
“They should invent a car that knows you’ve had too much wine and are also too short to see the road. It would automatically adjust the seat up, project a holographic heads-up display that’s twice the normal size, and then just park itself in a nearby ditch. For safety. And for future salvage.”