Also at a posh suburban girls junior college…
A student went to visit her professor after class.
"Professor", she said, " I am not doing well in your class. I am VERY concerned that I will fail this upcoming final exam."
"Yes of course, Miss. The exam is on chapters 12-15. You will want to focus on the research sections and I do suggest you go back over the readings I handed out they will clarify this material for you." said the professor, without looking up.
"Professor, I wanted you to know that would do anything for a passing grade. Yknow, extra credit, perhaps a 'one on one' tutoring session, if you take my meaning?"
The professor, being a very learned and erudite man, was without a doubt picking up what she was putting down. He got up and slowly closed his office door. He leaned in close over her shoulder and said, "Miss, do you have plans tonight?"
"Yes, a date with my boyfriend", she said with a coy smile.
"Cancel it." He said with a wink.
She called her boyfriend and cancelled the date. "Okay, Professor, I've canceled my date." She said with a now very seductive smile…..
"Excellent", he said, smiling back. "Now you have time to study. The exam is on chapters 12-15. You will want to focus on the research sections and I do suggest you go back over the readings I handed out they will clarify this material for you."
Joke Poo: The IT Fix
Also at a cutting-edge tech startup…
A new hire approached the senior IT guy, Brenda, after a particularly frustrating morning. "Brenda," he sighed, "my computer is a disaster. I’m really worried I won’t be able to finish this project by the deadline."
"Okay, Mike. It sounds like an OS issue; maybe a driver conflict. Did you try restarting? And have you checked the network connection?" Brenda said distractedly, peering at her multiple monitors.
"Brenda, I’m desperate. I’d do anything to get this fixed. You know, maybe some after-hours support, ‘hands-on’ assistance, if you catch my drift?"
Brenda, a no-nonsense coder with years under her belt, clearly understood the implications. She got up and firmly shut the server room door. Leaning in conspiratorially, she asked, "Mike, are you free tonight?"
"As a bird!" he replied, a hopeful glint in his eye.
"Good," Brenda said sternly. "Cancel any plans."
He frantically texted his D&D group to bail. "Okay, Brenda, all clear. I’m free." He leaned in, anticipation almost palpable.
"Excellent," Brenda said, adjusting her glasses. "Now you have time to reinstall Windows. And have you checked the network connection?"
Alright, let’s dissect this joke and see if we can add some comedic sprinkles on top.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Posh girls’ school, a student trying to flirt with her professor for a better grade.
- Premise: The student overtly suggests a quid pro quo.
- Punchline: The professor seems to be going along with it, leading the student to cancel her date. However, the professor’s sole intention is that she uses the time to study.
- Humor: The humor arises from the subversion of expectations. We anticipate the professor to be either ethically indignant or complicit, but instead, he takes a hyper-rational, study-focused approach. The joke is funny because the audience and the student have assumed the worst, but the professor’s behavior is simply focused on improving her educational outcomes.
Key Elements & Factual/Interesting Tidbits:
-
Posh Girls’ School:
- Fact: Many prestigious girls’ schools historically emphasized not only academics but also finishing-school etiquette and social skills, preparing students for advantageous marriages.
- Comedic Potential: We could play on the contrast between the expected polished demeanor of such a student and her direct, almost crude, offer to the professor.
-
Professor-Student Relationship:
- Fact: Academic misconduct policies regarding professor-student relationships are increasingly strict at universities.
- Comedic Potential: Highlight the absurdity of the situation given current university regulations and the professor’s seemingly clueless behavior.
- Cancelled Date:
- Fact: People come up with a wide array of reasons to cancel dates, many far more elaborate than simply, "I need to study."
- Comedic Potential: Explore the possible lies she could have told her boyfriend instead of the actual, embarrassing truth.
New Piece of Humor (Alternative Punchline):
The joke remains the same up to the moment when the professor says, "Cancel it."
She called her boyfriend and canceled the date. "Okay, Professor, I’ve canceled my date." She said with a now very seductive smile…..
"Excellent," he said, smiling back. "Now you have time to study. And, Miss? I expect a full bibliography, properly formatted in Chicago Manual of Style. No exceptions. I marked you down last time for using APA formatting on a history paper."
Comedic Enrichment:
Amusing ‘Did You Know?’
Did you know that the "publish or perish" pressure on professors is so intense, some institutions have actually penalized faculty for not assigning enough homework? The professor in the joke might be less interested in extracurricular activities and more worried about his student evaluations if she fails his course due to a lack of study. In fact, if her work isn’t fully researched, maybe he will perish.
Why this works:
- The new punchline continues the subversion of expectations but amps it up by adding a ridiculously specific academic demand. It juxtaposes the flirtatious scenario with the mundane (and slightly ridiculous) world of academic formatting.
- The ‘Did You Know?’ makes a broader satirical point about the pressures within academia, making the professor’s single-minded focus seem less absurd and more a product of the system.