The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
Joke Poo: The Compost Count
A renowned 90-year-old gardener was asked by his university’s agricultural research department for a compost count as part of their soil analysis project.
The lead researcher gave the old man a large, sterilized bag and said, “Take this bag to your garden and bring back a compost sample tomorrow. We need to analyze its microbial diversity.” The next day, the 90-year-old man reappeared at the research lab and gave them the bag, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The researcher asked, concerned, “What happened? We need the compost sample to continue our research!” The old man explained, “Well, professor, it’s like this — first, I used my trusty spade, but the ground was too hard. Then, I tried the trowel, but it barely made a dent. Then, I called my daughter, Agnes, who’s a landscaper. She brought her power auger, but it just bounced off the top layer. We even called up Bob, the fella down the lane with the backhoe! He dug and dug, using all sorts of attachments – the breaker, the grabber, even the root rake – but still nothing!” The researcher was bewildered! “You used a backhoe!?” The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could find the compost bag anywhere.”
Alright, let’s dive into this joke and see what comedic gold we can extract and polish!
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: An elderly man is asked to provide a sperm sample, setting up expectations about virility and aging.
- Misdirection: The punchline hinges on the misinterpretation of the task. The man and his helpers are struggling with the literal jar, not the act of producing the sample.
- Incongruity: The humor comes from the contrast between the expectation of sexual activity and the mundane reality of struggling with a container.
- Character: The old man’s innocence (or feigned innocence) and willingness to enlist help add to the comedic effect.
Key Elements for Enrichment:
- Age and Virility: The joke plays on societal expectations of sexual activity decreasing with age.
- Sperm Collection: The process itself can be a source of humor.
- Problem-Solving (Failed): The elaborate attempts to open the jar.
Comedic Enrichment:
Approach 1: The ‘Did You Know?’ route (Playing on Age/Virility)
- Did you know? Studies show that while sperm count does decline with age, men over 80 can still father children. It’s just that their sperm are more likely to be unionized and demand better working conditions…and, you know, a jar opener.
Approach 2: Alternative Punchline (Playing on Sperm Collection)
- The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. “Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I remembered what you said about a ‘sample’. So, I took it to the local hardware store and they said it was definitely glass. But I’m still not sure what it’s a sample of…”
Approach 3: Witty Observation (Playing on Problem-Solving and Technology)
- The joke’s funniest element is the escalation of problem-solving. In this age of YouTube tutorials, surely someone suggested “Life hack: running the jar lid under warm water” before involving Arleen! It’s a testament to the enduring human instinct to overcomplicate things.
Approach 4: New Joke
Why did the 85-year-old bring a hammer to his doctor’s office?
He heard he needed to provide a ‘specimen sample’. Figured it was time to show that damn jar who’s boss.
Explanation of Choices:
- Did You Know?: This approach leverages actual facts about male fertility in older age, creating a humorous juxtaposition with the joke’s premise. The added humor comes from anthropomorphizing the sperm.
- Alternative Punchline: This variation twists the misdirection. The man successfully identifies the jar, but doesn’t understand why he was given it, thus extending the initial misunderstanding.
- Witty Observation: This approach acknowledges the joke’s core comedic element – the elaborate, misguided attempts – and relates it to modern-day reliance on simple solutions found online.
- New Joke: This utilizes the same set-up, but the punchline is entirely original and relies on the “specimen sample” being misheard as “smash him sample”.
The aim is to build upon the original joke’s humor, either by enhancing the misdirection, highlighting the absurdity, or connecting it to real-world concepts in a funny way.