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Fake Poo

An accountant was at a convention in Las Vegas.

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

He decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No, I'm sorry, it isn't," she replied.

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she told him.

Somewhat offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop.

His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the madam said, "Why yes, this is a union house."

"And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20," the madam informed him.

"That's more like it!" the man said.

He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead.

"I'd like her for the night."

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the madam, gesturing to a 70-year-old woman in the corner, "But Ethel here has seniority."

Joke Poo: The Library Card

A software engineer was at a tech conference in Silicon Valley. He decided to check out the local, highly-rated public libraries, hoping to find some rare programming books.

When he got to the first one, he asked the librarian, "Is this library on the blockchain?"

"No, I’m sorry, it isn’t," she replied, looking slightly confused.

"Well, if I donate $100 worth of Ethereum, how much do the authors get in royalties?"

"The library gets to keep $90 and the authors… well, nothing directly from that. The authors get paid by their publishers, and those payments have nothing to do with cryptocurrency donations," she explained slowly.

Somewhat offended at such a decentralized misunderstanding, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more blockchain-savvy institution.

His search continued until finally he reached a library where the librarian said, "Why yes, this is a library integrated with a decentralized, NFT-based author reward system!"

"And if I donate $100 worth of Ethereum, how much of that goes directly to the author of the books I check out?"

"The author gets $90 worth, and the library takes a 10% fee for maintaining the node," the librarian informed him proudly.

"That’s more like it!" the man said. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

He looked around the shelves, filled with leather-bound classics and cutting-edge AI textbooks, and excitedly grabbed a brightly colored board book titled "Learn to Code for Toddlers".

"Excellent choice!" exclaimed the librarian, gesturing to a dusty terminal running a command-line interface. "Now, before you can take that home, you’ll need to mint a non-fungible library card."

Okay, let’s break down this joke and then cook up some comedic enhancements.

Joke Dissection:

  • Core Elements:

    • Accountant: The stereotype is a detail-oriented, cost-conscious, and fairness-seeking individual.
    • Brothel (Las Vegas Setting): A classic setting for unexpected encounters and humor stemming from contrasting expectations. The juxtaposition of professionalism (accountant) and a typically unregulated industry (historically, and in some ways currently, sex work) generates potential for humor.
    • Unionization: The unexpected application of union principles (fairness, seniority) in a brothel setting is the central comedic twist.
    • Seniority: The punchline relies on the conflict between the accountant’s desire for a specific (attractive) worker and the union rule of seniority, leading to an undesired outcome.
    • Irony: The accountant’s pursuit of financial fairness leads him to a situation where his personal desires are thwarted by the very principle he sought.
  • Humor Style: Situational irony, surprise, and character-based (playing off accountant stereotypes).

Comedic Enrichment – Option 1: Witty Observation/Did You Know?

"You know, that joke reminds me of a little-known accounting principle: ‘Last-In, First-Out… of choices.’" (This plays on the LIFO accounting method while referencing the accountant’s desire to select a specific individual.)

Comedic Enrichment – Option 2: New Joke

An auditor walks into a cannabis dispensary in Colorado. He asks the budtender, "Is this a union shop?"

The budtender, looking confused, replies, "Uh, no. Why?"

The auditor says, "Well, I need to expense this whole recreational purchase as a ‘team-building exercise.’ If it’s union, I can argue that the morale boost is a necessary business expense…for the greater good."

(This plays on the auditor stereotype, expands the geographic scope of the joke, uses the "greater good" as a punchline, and replaces the explicit nature of the original joke with a different kind of vice.)

Comedic Enrichment – Option 3: Expanding on the Original Joke’s Setting

After leaving the second brothel, the accountant grumbled, "Honestly, these union dues are highway robbery! Between the strike fund and mandatory potlucks, it’s practically a marginal tax rate of 60%! Next time, I’m sticking to the black market… where the returns are much higher, but the risk of audit is even greater." (This reinforces the accountant’s numerical focus and introduces the concept of underground economy as the logical outcome.)

The humor is derived from using accounting terminology in a non-accounting context and using the unionized nature of the brothel to create absurd situations.

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