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An Australian, an American and a British man are on a golfcourse…

Posted on July 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.

'Terribly sorry,' says the Brit but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.

The other two are pretty impressed and the Brit shrugs modestly.

'State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff.'

They get set to resume but another phone goes off.

'Ugh, sorry guys,' says the American but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.

When he's finished the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.

'No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A.'

Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a high pitched, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.

The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, trousers around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.

'What the hell…' one of them says but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.

'Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..'

Joke Poo: The Intergalactic Transaction

Three alien delegates – a Martian, a Venusian, and a Plutonian – are at a galactic trade summit.

They are discussing an important deal when a strange gurgling sound is heard.

“Apologies,” says the Martian. Instead of retrieving a communicator, he opens a valve on his thorax and a small, holographic projector emerges, displaying the face of his Martian accountant. He handles the call with practiced ease.

The others are mildly impressed, and the Martian shrugs his chitinous shoulders, “Standard Martian tech. Direct neural uplink. Very efficient.”

They resume negotiations, but then a series of shimmering waves ripples across the Venusian’s gelatinous form.

“Excuse me,” the Venusian says, rippling further. She rearranges her bioluminescent spots and, with a series of graceful gestures, configures a holographic keyboard on her skin. She conducts a lengthy telepathic-data exchange.

When she is finished, the Martian and Plutonian are intrigued, but the Venusian dismisses their curiosity, “Nothing special. Just Venusian biodata-streaming. We’re all interconnected, you know.”

They’re about to finalize the agreement when a low, rumbling growl emanates from the Plutonian. He immediately scurries behind a large, decorative asteroid plant, his tentacled lower body twitching.

The Martian and Venusian exchange confused glances. After a few awkward moments, the Plutonian reappears, looking flustered.

“Sorry for the interruption,” he mumbles.

“What was all that about?” asks the Venusian.

The Plutonian sighs and produces a small, shimmering rock from behind his back. “Had to update my crypto-mining rig. Apparently, it needed a… a big dump.”

Okay, let’s break down this joke and then inject some humor-enhancing factual tidbits.

Joke Dissection:

  • Setup: Three men of different nationalities (Australian, American, British) are playing golf. This establishes a classic “nationality joke” scenario where stereotypes are often exploited.
  • Premise: The British and American demonstrate advanced, surgically implanted/high-tech communication devices. This sets a high bar for technological prowess.
  • Punchline: The Australian, instead of showcasing advanced tech, is receiving a fax… through his backside. This is a crude, unexpected, and absurd deflation of the technological one-upmanship.

Key Elements:

  • National Stereotypes: Implicitly plays on the British love of tradition and advanced engineering. The American brashness and focus on innovation. The Australian perceived ‘laid back’ and ‘outback’ nature.
  • Technological Progression: Builds anticipation as each man presents a “better” technology.
  • Absurdity/Crude Humor: The punchline relies heavily on the unexpected and the ridiculous image of receiving a fax in that manner.

Humor Enrichment using Factual/Interesting Tidbits:

Here’s a joke idea and some “Did You Know?” style observations:

Joke Idea:

An Australian, an American and a British man are again on a golf course, this time in space. The Brit pulls out a sonic screwdriver that can bend space-time to get the ball closer to the hole. The American has a drone that laser-guides the ball with the precision of a Patriot missile. The Australian just sighs, opens his space suit and releases a swarm of genetically modified, ball-eating space koalas.

The other two stare in disbelief. “What the hell was that?”

The Aussie shrugs, “Look, space is vast, and I’m just trying to fill a hole in the ozone layer. Plus, they got a killer satellite fax machine, can’t let that go to waste.”

Did You Know? (To enhance the original joke’s humor):

  • Did you know: Back in the late 19th century, before reliable phone lines, fax machines were briefly used to transmit newspaper images. Maybe the Aussie is just a traditionalist!
  • Did you know: The world’s first fax machine, the pantelegraph, was invented in 1843 by Scottish inventor Alexander Bain. So, technologically speaking, the Brit should have been the one pulling out a fax.
  • Did you know: While the Australian fax setup might seem medically improbable, some researchers are experimenting with using the gut microbiome for bio-communication! Imagine the future possibilities… and potential misunderstandings!
  • Did you know: The term “fax” comes from the Latin word “fac simile,” meaning “make alike.” So in a way the Aussie is just keeping it real – everyone has an… opening.

The humor enrichment aims to:

  • Add layers: Introduce more modern or specific technological references, but subvert them in the same way as the original.
  • Provide context: Offer trivia that makes the punchline slightly less insane (while still being absurd).
  • Expand the joke’s impact: By linking it to historical or future technological possibilities, it gives the listener something extra to ponder and laugh about.

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