Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are all yours.
And my dear wife, you take all the residential buildings near downtown.”
The nurse, wide-eyed, said, “Wow, your husband must’ve been an incredible man to amass so much property to leave behind.”
The wife sighed and replied, “What property? The guy had a paper route!”
Joke Poo: The Digital Kingdom
An elderly gamer lay on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife, three kids, and a hospice worker. With a wheezing sigh, he began speaking: “Brenda, you get my maxed-out Warrior character. Kevin, the Level 90 Paladin is yours. Sarah, the Legendary Mage, is all yours.”
And my dear wife,” he croaked, “you take all the in-game currency and rare items I’ve accumulated.”
The hospice worker, impressed, said, “Wow, your husband must’ve been a legendary gamer to amass so much online stuff to leave behind!”
The wife rolled her eyes and replied, “What online stuff? The guy was addicted to Candy Crush!”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then build something funny on top of it.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: The scene is classic “deathbed inheritance distribution.” We’re primed for a wealthy individual making final arrangements. The lengthy and specific distribution builds expectation.
- Punchline: The abrupt and anti-climactic reveal that the man owns absolutely nothing except the promise of future, potential profits from a paper route.
- Humor Source: The humor lies in the extreme discrepancy between the grand distribution of valuable properties and the man’s actual meager livelihood. It’s a bait-and-switch, playing on our assumptions about wealth and legacy. We expect power, we get… poverty.
Key Elements to Play With:
- Deathbed Scene: Traditionally associated with solemnity and truth-telling.
- Real Estate: Signifies tangible, valuable assets.
- Paper Route: Represents a low-paying, physically demanding job, often associated with children or teenagers.
- The Wife’s Sigh: Conveys exasperation and a long-suffering experience.
Comedic Enrichment & New Joke:
Let’s focus on the Paper Route and the Wife’s reaction:
Did you know?
- The first documented newspaper delivery routes were in the early 1830s in New York City. Newsboys (typically young boys) would hawk newspapers on street corners. Organized home delivery emerged later, making the paper route a more structured (though still often underpaid) job.
- The most famous fictional paperboy? Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes. While Calvin’s work ethic was…questionable, he did highlight the surprisingly complicated dynamics of customer relations and delivery logistics (dealing with dogs, snow, and grumpy subscribers).
- A paper route in a dense, urban area could involve delivering hundreds of newspapers daily, often before sunrise. That’s a lot of potential for mishaps and complaints!
New Joke Based on this:
An elderly man, on his deathbed, calls his wife closer. He whispers, “Darling, I have a confession. The properties I’ve been describing all these years? The Beverly Hills mansions, the downtown offices, the L.A. apartments? They were never real. They were just… hypothetical. Based on what my future paper route income could have been if I had negotiated a better commission.”
His wife sighs. “So, all those fancy vacations, the new car every year, the lavish parties? Were those also…”
The old man smiles weakly. “Hypothetically paid for by the hypothetical tips from Mr. Henderson on Maple Street. You know, the one who always pretended he didn’t have change, but clearly did!”
The wife, eyes narrowed, said “So I gave up the chance to date the plumber for a hypothetical income!”