An elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it had become challenging work, as the ground was harder this year. On top of it, his only son Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described what he felt:
Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad. It looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If only you were here, my troubles would be over… I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, just as you used to in the old days. Love, Papa
A few days later, he received a letter from his son:
Dear Pop, Don't dig up that garden. That's where all the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area, not finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day, the old man received another letter from his son:
Dear Pop, I believe you can go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie.
Joke Poo: The Chicken Coop Caper
An elderly woman living on a small farm in Iowa wanted to repair her chicken coop, but her arthritis was acting up something fierce. Her grandson, Billy, a skilled hacker but currently under house arrest, used to help with these things. Feeling down, she sent Billy a text:
“Dear Billy, Feeling blue. The chicken coop’s falling apart and I can’t fix it. Wish you were here. You always were good with a hammer and nails. Love, Grandma.”
A few hours later, she got a cryptic reply:
“Grandma, Do NOT touch those chickens. All my cryptocurrency keys are hidden under the bedding. Love, Billy.”
The very next day, a swarm of IRS agents descended on the farm, tearing apart the chicken coop, scattering straw and feathers everywhere. They didn’t find any cryptocurrency, but they did find some suspiciously large eggs. After apologizing profusely, they left.
That evening, Grandma received another text:
“Okay, Grandma, you can put the chickens back now. Hope that cleared things up. Love, Billy.”
Alright, let’s dissect this joke!
Key Elements & Analysis:
- The Setup: An elderly Italian man in New Jersey, struggling with gardening, misses his incarcerated son. The setup cleverly introduces the stereotype of the Italian mob connection. The hardship of gardening adds pathos and relatability.
- The Misdirection: The letter exchange builds tension. The father innocently laments his gardening woes, while the son’s cryptic response (“Don’t dig up that garden”) implies hidden bodies and criminal activity.
- The Punchline: The arrival and fruitless search by the FBI/police is the main comedic release. The son’s subsequent letter revealing the true intention (“That’s the best I could do”) subverts the expectation of a sinister motive. It’s a clever manipulation of law enforcement to do manual labor.
- Humor Source: The humor comes from the juxtaposition of the old man’s seemingly innocent plea with the son’s implied criminal background, and the farcical situation of the authorities unwittingly becoming a digging crew. It plays on stereotypes but does so in a lighthearted, non-offensive way.
Enrichment through Factual/Interesting Tidbits:
Let’s leverage the elements of Italian-American culture, gardening, and prison communication for new humor.
New Joke/Witty Observation:
Why did the elderly Italian man get a drone?
He couldn’t get his son out of prison to dig his tomato patch, but he could get him parole for operating a remote-controlled drone to survey his land and ensure that any tomato-eating pests are “taken care of”.
He then used the drone to write “Eat Tomatoes” on his garden
It’s an offer the voles can’t refuse.
Amusing ‘Did You Know’ that plays off the Original:
Did you know that tomato plants are extremely susceptible to fusarium wilt? It’s a soilborne fungal disease that can decimate an entire crop. That’s why Vinnie was so invested in proper soil prep. In the garden, like in the “family business,” prevention is key. And knowing exactly what (and who) is under the ground is essential for a healthy yield.
Alternative joke:
An elderly Italian man is visiting his son in prison.
“Dad,” the son says, “I need you to make a call for me.”
“Okay, what is it?” the father replies
“Call the local FBI branch and tell them you have information about hidden corpses in your backyard.”
“Why?!” the father exclaims.
“I was hoping to get some sunlight.”