Doctor – "Well, given that you have tried everything else, I could give you an experimental procedure, which may or may not help."
Patient – "I am up for anything doc, it won't hurt to try anyway."
Doctor – "Alright then, going forward, you will ingest food only anally. This technique has shown some promising results in weight loss programmes."
Patient – "OK….that does sound weird, but I will give it a try." And he goes on his way.
Couple of years later, the Doctor is at a party, when a slim guy comes dancing towards him from the dance floor.
"Hey doc, remember me."
Doctor (staring at him) – "I am sorry, do I- HOLY CRAP, I remember you, how have you been mate, you look fantastic."
The man, still dancing – "Oh yes, all thanks to you. I lost so much weight following your advice."
Doctor – "I can see that. And you dance really good too."
"Oh I am not dancing Doc. I am just chewing gum."
Joke Poo: The Bard’s Bypass
A struggling playwright, burdened by writer’s block and facing eviction, pleads with a renowned (but eccentric) Shakespearean scholar for help.
Scholar: “My dear boy, given your artistic drought, I can offer a radical, untested method. But be warned, it may yield… unexpected results.”
Playwright: “I’m desperate, Professor! Anything is worth a shot. My landlady is threatening to rewrite my life as a tragedy!”
Scholar: “Very well. Henceforth, you will only ingest inspiration anally. Absorb the classics… literally. This bypasses the conscious mind, allowing pure, unadulterated genius to flow!”
Playwright: “…You want me to… read books with my… backside? Fine! Anything for a hit play!” He scurries off.
Years later, the scholar is at a Renaissance Faire, when a booming, elegantly dressed gentleman strides up to him.
Gentleman: “Hark, good sir! Dost thou recall thy humble pupil?”
Scholar (squinting) – “I beg your pardon… but your voice… Good heavens! Is it… YOU?! You look positively… Shakespearean!”
The gentleman, striking a dramatic pose: “Indeed! Thanks to your wisdom, I’ve penned a trilogy of historical dramas that hath set the London stage ablaze!”
Scholar: “Incredible! And you declaim with such… conviction, such passion!”
Gentleman: “Oh, I’m not declaiming, Professor. I just have terrible hemorrhoids.”
Okay, let’s break down this joke and see what comedic gold we can mine.
Joke Analysis:
- Premise: An extremely obese man resorts to an outlandish medical procedure (anal ingestion of food) for weight loss.
- Setup: The doctor offers a bizarre solution, the patient accepts out of desperation, and we jump forward in time.
- Punchline: The man appears slim and is “dancing,” but reveals he’s only chewing gum, implying the method was absurdly effective.
- Humor Source: The humor derives from the absurdity of the medical procedure, the unexpected success, and the visual incongruity of the man’s “dancing” being misinterpreted. It’s the juxtaposition of the grossness of the method and the unexpected, almost comical, outcome. The chewing gum is the final, delightful twist.
Key Elements:
- Obesity: Central to the problem and the visual transformation.
- Desperation: Fuels the acceptance of the bizarre procedure.
- Anal Ingestion: The source of the gross-out humor.
- Transformation: The visual change is crucial for the surprise.
- Chewing Gum: The perfect final element that underscores the absurdity.
Comedic Enrichment & New Humor:
Let’s focus on the chewing gum element and see how we can spin that.
New Joke:
A man walks into a doctor’s office. “Doc,” he says, “I’ve been having this really weird craving to only eat things through my… you know… the back door.”
The doctor sighs, “Well, that’s unusual. Let’s run some tests. In the meantime, just to be safe, make sure whatever you’re… ingesting… is sugar-free. You don’t want to get cavities… down there.”
Why it works:
- Plays on the same absurdity of anal food consumption.
- The doctor’s concern about cavities in an unexpected location is the punchline. It’s unexpected and plays on the association between the mouth and oral hygiene.
Witty Observation:
The original joke implies a level of medical ethics that’s… well, “digestible” is probably the wrong word. It raises the question: at what point does desperation override common sense, both for the patient and the doctor? I mean, recommending anal feeding? That’s like the medical equivalent of telling someone to just “walk it off” if they’ve been mauled by a bear.
Amusing “Did You Know?” (related to chewing gum):
Did you know that the ancient Greeks chewed on mastiche (a resin from the mastic tree) for fresh breath? So, this guy in the joke? He’s not just slim and dancing; he’s practically an Athenian philosopher. Also, if you swallow too much chewing gum, you may pass it out your rear!
Enhancement:
To further enhance the original joke, one could add a detail like:
- The doctor is later sued by the gum company for the new demand for chewing gum.
By highlighting the key elements and using related trivia, we can create new comedic angles and enhance the humor of the original joke.